12 Films of Christmas (Part 4)

Ho ho holy shit, it’s the fourth fuckin’ part of this god damn series of mine. So let’s get into it.

Are you a bit of a Grinch? Need something with a little less holiday cheer than most other christmas movies? Then “Bad Santa” is for you. Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) is a drunk, foul-mouthed, horny mall Santa who only does the job so he can pull off a heist at the mall with his partner Marcus (Tony Cox). And one year during their routine heist planning, Willie “befriends” a kid (Brett Kelly), and that complicates things a bit. As you probably gathered from the introduction, this isn’t exactly your typical holiday movie. The main character is a miserable drunkard who steals shit… at christmas time! And for those of us who get a bit tired of the usual “Lalala, christmas and magic and happiness”, it is a perfect thing to mix it up a bit. Billy Bob Thornton is fantastic as Willie, the titular naughty Claus. He gets the foul-mouthed, drunk, pervert character across flawlessly and it makes for something quite unique for a christmas movi. Tony Cox as his partner Marcus is terrific. They play off of each other very well. Brett Kelly is great as this innocent, naive, slightly stupid kid, and his relationship with Willie is a blast to watch. Then we have Lauren Graham as a woman that Willie forms a bit of a relationship with, and there’s something inherently funny about Lorelai Gilmore having a bit fetish for Santa Claus. Then we have the scenes featuring John Ritter and Bernie Mac, both gone way too soon. Seeing these polar opposite characters have a conversation is fucking hilarious and probably the highlights of the movie for me. I seriously miss them both, rest in peace, you awesome people. “Bad Santa” is an incredibly mean-spirited christmas comedy that I highly recommend to every person out there. Grinch, christmas lover? Doesn’t matter! “Bad Santa” is awesome.

What do you think about “Bad Santa”? Do you think we need more cynical holiday movies in our lives? Leave any and all thoughts in the comments, I’d love to know what you think.
Have a good one.

“Bad Santa 2” Red Band Trailer

THANK YOU, JEBUZ CRUST!!! *Clears throat* Sorry about that… let’s talk about this thing.

So you might remember that two weeks ago I made a post where I talked about the “Bad Santa 2” teaser trailer. But if you didn’t, go check it out (#ShamelessPlug). Well, that was just the beginning. That little teaser was innocent enough, with it being very PG and all. And remember, that was just the teaser, a smidget of what’s to come… so hold on to your butts because this shit is taking it to a whole new level. So as stated in that old post, Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) is back to be the naughty claus once again. And we see the return of some familiar faces and also the arrival of new ones. And THANK THE HEAVENS ABOVE, THIS SHIT IS RATED MOTHERFUCKING R!!! *Clears throat* Sorry, again. What I was worried about was that this movie might be watered down and not be as cruel and vulgar as the original… boy, was I wrong. This shit truly looks like a sequel worthy of it’s predecessor, with the same type of dark vulgarity that made the first one so great. I mean, this movie looks really funny. I also appreciate the use of Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle”, that was a nice choice. Not gonna lie, I am seriously pumped for this movie that I never thought would actually be able to happen. Also, if you have kids nearby, don’t watch this trailer. Seriously, it’s about as R-rated as can be.

So what are your thoughts? Are you looking forward to “Bad Santa 2”? And are you a fan of the original? Leave any and all answers in the comments!
Have a good one and enjoy the trailer!

“Bad Santa 2” teaser trailer?

Hi guys, Markus here. I know that I have been talking a lot about teasers/trailers the past few days (thanks, Comic Con!), but there’s one that came out late yesterday that I just have to talk about because it came out of fucking nowhere.

So we now have a teaser trailer for “Bad Santa 2”, the most unexpected sequel ever. Sure, in my “Most Anticipated Movies of 2016” list I had it as an honorable mention, but that was only because I didn’t think they were serious about it and it was more or less a rumor. So after that I forgot about it… until this teaser came out. For those of you who might not know, “Bad Santa” is a 2003 comedy starring Billy Bob Thornton as the most corrupt mall santa you have ever seen. It’s not a nice movie… it’s a rather naughty one (christmas pun definitely intended). The humor is pitch black and very mean-spirited, so it’s perfect for a grinch like me. Alright, you get the backstory of it now? Cool. So now, 13 years later, we get a sequel with more or less the same cast as before. Billy Bob Thornton will return as Willie Stokes, the titular Naughty Claus. Tony Cox will apparently return as Willie’s partner in crime, Marcus (pfff). We will also get the return of Brett Kelly who played the little kid that Willie met and had a weird and mean-spirited partnership with. Unfortunately we won’t be seeing the return of Bernie Mac or John Ritter since both sadly passed away in the years after the first movie. Oh well, we will at least get some new blood in the movie in the for mof Kathy Bates and Christina Hendricks, so that’s cool. Another difference is that this movie will be directed by Mark Waters, known for directing “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday”. The first one was directed by Terry Zwigoff who’s well known for directing “Ghost World”. “Bad Santa 2” is set to be released in theaters in late November of this year. So yeah… I am definitely interested in this.

What are your thoughts? Are you excited to see “Bad Santa 2”? And are you a fan of the original movie? Leave any and all thoughts in the comments.
Have a good one and enjoy the teaser.

My 12 Most Anticipated Movies of 2016

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Ladies and gentlemen, 2015 has come to a close and 2016 is upon us… in fact it has been upon us for about 11 days now. Look, I know I am a little bit late with this list, but that is mainly because I wanted to try to figure out which movies this year I looked forward to. It also takes some time to work it into a decent length. But now we are here, and I think it’s time to begin… after we’ve gone over some ground rules first.

Rule #1: This is my list of MY most anticipated movies of the year, so if you aren’t looking forward to the same ones as me then that’s fine, just don’t be a jerk about it.

Rule #2: I will not include any movies that originally got released in 2015 in the states/UK to then in 2016 get a release in Sweden where I live. So you will not see any movies like “The Hateful Eight”, “The Revenant” or “Spotlight” on this list even though I really want to see them.

Rule #3: I’m not really gonna rank these movies based on how much I want to see them, I will just sort of list them and explain why I am looking forward to them. Sure, you will see them get ranks from 12 to 1, but that is only for simplicty’s sake.

Those were the rules, so let us now have a look at my most anticipated movies of 2016!
But first some honorable mentions because I am stupid like that:
Assassin’s Creed
Ratchet & Clank
The Jungle Book
Bad Santa 2
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
Those were the honrable mentions, let’s move on.

Number 12: Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them
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For those of you who don’t really know, “Fantastic Beasts” is basically a prequel to “Harry Potter”. In the “Harry Potter” franchise “Fantastic Beasts” is one of the books that Harry and the others use while at Hogwarts. And this movie will follow the author of the book, Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) as he most likely will go around and capture beasts. Okay, what warrants this to be on the list? Well first off, we get to spend more time in this established universe that we love. The movie also has some serious acting talent behind it with the previously mentioned Eddie Redmayne and also people like Ezra Miller, Colin Farrell and Ron motherfucking Perlman. But what might be most promising, for me at least, is that the movie is directed by David Yates who did the last four “Harry Potter” movies which in my opinion are all great movies. So yeah, this this got some good shit behind it.

Number 11: Warcraft.
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One would assume that a video game movie wouldn’t appear on this list, but behold… it is here. I agree that the majority of video game movies have been pretty bad and/or awful unless they would be Japanese and animated. But I still have a little faith in this one for a few reasons. One thing is that the “Warcraft” universe isn’t 100% set in stone and they can expand on the universe a bit. The movie also has some good talent behind it with actors such as Travis Fimmel, Paula Patton, Robert Kazinsky, Toby Kebbell and Ben Foster. But what intirgues me most about this movie is the fact that it’s directed by Duncan Jones, a man who I am a big fan of. Sure, he has only made two movies previous to directing “Warcraft”, but those movies were pretty damn good. Also, he is apparently a gamer himself, so I think he will be a little more careful when making this movie. Plus, that trailer that came out didn’t look too bad.

Number 10: Finding Dory.

The long awaited sequel to Pixar’s “Finding Nemo” will finally come to us in 2016. I do have my reservations about this movie since it’s been almost 13 years since the first movie came out and if you remember, not all Pixar sequels are that good (*Cough* “Cars 2” *Cough cough*). But I do still have some hope about this one because of my love for the first one. I also have a bit of hope for it since it seems that the original directors and actors are returning for this one. And with such a lineup I feel like my hope for it is justified. And if the movie turns out to be bad… Just keep swimming. 

Number 9: Hail, Caesar!
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I’m not gonna go too in depth with my explanantion for this one since it can be done in just a few words. It’s a new comedy from the Coen brothers and it has a huge cast of awesome actors. I don’t need to explain it any further.

Number 8: Deadpool.
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The merc with a mouth is finally coming to the big screen. And before you say anything, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” does not count. And while I am looking forward to seeing what they do with this character, I still have my doubts. The man who’s making this movie is a first time director. Yes, he has been a visual effects guy and may have picked up a trick or two when working on different things, but I still always hold back a little when it’s a first time director. Secondly, the movie is being released in February, and any movie fan knows that January and February are bad months for movies. But who knows, it might turn out to be one of the best movies of the year if we’re lucky.

Number 7: Suicide Squad.
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Out of the two DC movies being released this year, this is the one I got the higher hoper for. Mainly because the trailer for this didn’t show everything that the plot would have unveiled (*Cough* “Batman V Superman” *Cough*). Also, we haven’t really seen Task Force X one the big screen yet. Sure, we do have the animated movie “Batman: Assault on Arkham”, but that wasn’t theatrically released. And “Arrow” doesn’t count either because that was on TV and it was never the entire squad at once. And with that ranting over, let’s talk about what I like so far about the movie. The cast is great, containing some great actors in roles I think they will pull off brilliantly… except for Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, because he’s not a good actor and Boomerang is one of the stupidest characters ever. Sorry, going overboard with this. *Deep breath*. What I can say as well is that I am a fan of David Ayer who’s directing the movie. Ah fuck it, it’s probably gonna be an entertaining movie.

Number 6: Doctor Strange.
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It’s a Marvel movie… starring Benedict Cumberbatch… it’s gonna be good.

Number 5: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
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I find it to be an amazing feeling to know that there would only be one year between “The Force Awakens” and a new “Star Wars” movie. So the fact that there will be a new “Star Wars” movie is awesome on it’s own, but to then see the list of cast members and also who will be directing is an amazing thing on it’s own. The list of cast members is too long to mention here, so I recommend that you go to imdb and have a look yourself. But I can mention the name of the director however. The director is none other than Gareth Edwards, the man who gave us 2014’s “Godzilla” which I personally am a big fan of. So I have a good amount of (new) hope for this movie.

Number 4: X-Men: Apocalypse.
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It’s a new Bryan Singer “X-Men” movie which is always something to look forward to. Yes, they have a very high standard to live up to after the masterful “X-Men: Days of Future Past”, but I do still think that this movie got a big chance of being good, if not great. I don’t think it’s gonna be as good as “Days of Future Past”, but I don’t need it to be, I just need it to be good… which it will be. Like I said, Bryan Singer is back as director. The movie also featured a fantastic cast with both returning cast members and newcomers to the franchise. It’s gonna be good guys… trust me.

Number 3: John Wick 2.
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Yes, this movie has no release date. Yes, there hasn’t been any trailer yet. But I feel that it will still be great. Mainly because the director of the first movie is coming back together with Keanu Reeves to give us another kickass action movie. Sure, my love of the first movie might cloud my judgment here, but I still feel hyped for the sequel.

Number 2: Bourne 5.
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I am a big fan of the “Bourne” franchise. I agree that “Bourne Legacy” wasn’t that great, but I didn’t completely hate it. And I did promise you in a post from a week or so ago that I would review all of the “Bourne” movies leading up to this untitled sequel which will be released in July. And for the movie we will see the return of both Matt Damon and Julia Stiles in the roles they played throughout the series’ previous installments. We will also see the return of Paul Greengrass as director. I really do feel like this will be a great movie… at least as a fan of the franchise.

Number 1: Captain America: Civil War.
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You shouldn’t be surprised that this movie is on the list… it’s a new Marvel movie brough to us by the guys who directed “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, one of the absolutely best superhero movies out there. It’s probably the biggest movies of the year and I really wanna see it… simple as that.

So those were my most anticipated movies of the year. Were there any you are looking forward to that I didn’t talk about? Please feel free to comment about it.
Have a good one.

Movie Review: Bad Santa (2003)

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We all remember christmas as a cheerful time to have fun with you family, eat a bunch of great food and of course presents. And as kids we were expecting the presents to be delivered by the one and only… SANTA CLAUS! Of course we learned that Santa didn’t exist and got a little disappointed… presents are still kinda neat though. But as a kid I thought Santa was a kind of cool thing to see. A large kind man with a fluffy beard and a bag full of awesome stuff… how could you not like the guy? Well that is a question we will get answered in the review you see here!

Boys and girls… “Bad Santa”.

Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton) is a drunken, miserable con man. Every year around christmas he acts as mall Santa. But when everyone has left on christmas eve, he and his partner in crime Marcus (Tony Cox) turns off the alram systems and starts raiding the place. In this movie the main operation is in Florida where the mall is run by Bob Chipeska (John Ritter, R.I.P) and a man named Gin (Bernie Mac, R.I.P). But the entire situation gets a bit more complicated when Willie befriends a little kid (Brett Kelly). Yeah, I think you might understand what might happen. But the movie is still very unconventional with the story being pretty original in a way. “Bad Santa” is by no means a family film and should never be mistaken as such. This movie in it’s story aspect is very dark and very offensive (for a christmas comedy). And that is kind of why I like it because of how dark and weird it can get sometimes. I get that this type of story might not appeal to everyone, but I liked it.

The characters are pretty rounded and well-written. They are given enough to do that they never feel underused or overused. They were all given an appropriate amount of space and good dialogue that they became pretty enjoyable to watch. I would also have to say that the movie got some pretty good performances given the fact that it is a comedy. Most comedies have passable performances, but I would say that “Bad Santa” got some performances I could genuinely call good. Like Billy Bob Thornton, I thought he was great as this drunken mess who also happens to one of the most despicable human beings I have ever witnessed in anything ever… at first. Tony Cox was also pretty good in his role. Overall the characters and acting was above the standards of most comedies.

The soundtrack is something to just Marvel at. You know why? Because it’s made up of practically every fucking christmas song you have heard a thousand fucking times! I’m sorry, just getting a bit mad. Not only because I’ve heard these before a lot but also because I would love to hear some original tunes from this movie. I would also have loved it if they didn’t re-use so many of the same songs in several different scenes. I know it might sound a little bit picky, but I like variety in my music.

One funny thing to note is that while this movie is directed by Terry Zwigoff, it is also co-produced by the Coen Brothers. And when I saw that in the opening credits I had it in the back of my mind the entire movie and I noticed a few of the sort of Coen-isms throughout. Delightfully dark comedy, interesting characters and just the overall feel of the movie. The camera work? It was nothing special. The movie looked pretty good visually, nothing special to it.

This movie was overall received pretty well by critics and audience members alike. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 78% positive rating with a “Fresh” certification. On Metacritic it has a score of 70/100. Roger Ebert gave the movie 3,5/4 stars. And finally on imdb.com we find the movie with a score of 7,1/10.

“Bad Santa” is the very definition of bittersweet. It isn’t the most uplifting movie ever and it isn’t the most depressing thing ever. It is something that’ll give you a bit of both. It also got great comedy, good performances, good writing, a “good” soundtrack and just feels pretty cool. So now if Santa could just give me my fucking final score already! HNNNNGGG… There, got it! My final score for “Bad Santa” is an 8,67/10. While it is a bit from perfect, I would still say it’s worth buying.
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Review of “Bad Santa” has been let out of the bag.

Not you typical christmas story, that’s for damn sure. Another thing that is for sure is that soon Santa Claus will be coming to Town.