Quentin Rankantino

Howdy, motherfuckers. Today we’re doing something a little bit differently. Instead of reviewing something, we’re ranking stuff. And by we, I mean me. With the impending release of “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”, I have been rewatching all of Quentin Tarantino’s movies. So now that I got that task done, I have decided to rank them, from least favorite, to my top pick. So get your buckets of blood and Samuel L. Jacksons ready as we rank the movies of Quentin Tarantino, in a special post we call… Quentin Rankantino!

Number 9: Death Proof.

Coming in at the bottom is Tarantino’s grindhouse homage, “Death Proof” (fittingly used within the “Grindhouse” double feature). It’s not awful per se, but it’s Tarantula’s weakest movie by a mile. The pacing is wonky, and I don’t exactly find any of the characters particularly interesting. What gives it some points are the action scenes, which are a hard-hitting bit of fun. Also, Kurt fucking Russell… I don’t have much to say there, I just like Kurt Russell.

Number 8: Jackie Brown.

For our number 8 slot we make a huge god damn leap from “not that good” to “that’s really good”. In Toronto’s third movie, based on “Rum Punch” by Elmore Leonard, a stewardess (Pam Grier) gets drawn into a complex crime plot by the ATF. It can feel a bit cluttered at times, affecting the pacing a bit, which is why it finds itself so low on the list. But with that said, thanks to the stellar cast and one hell of a funky soundtrack it still stands out as a damn solid movie in this director’s filmography.

Number 7: Kill Bill Volume 1

Now, I know that Turntable considers “Kill Bill” one movie, but they were released as two, so I rank them as two. Now, I find the story and characterization a bit weak in this one… but it’s still a damn good movie, filled with stylish, batshit insane action and some fun performances.

Number 6: Kill Bill Volume 2

While I’d put both “Assassinate William” movies on the same level in terms of various technicalities, I still do prefer the second one, due to its slower, more character-driven journey. Yes, we do still get some crazy, well handled action, but it’s not quite as much as in the first movie… and that’s okay.

Number 5: The Hateful Eight

Tabernacle’s second western is quite the interesting tale of assholes trying to not kill each other… which is technically how one could describe all his movies to some extent. Hmm. Either way, this 2015 western-drama-thriller may be very slow, but it’s quite the electrifying experience, thanks in large part to the absolutely mesmerizing performances from its core cast. Plus, having a score from maestro Ennio Morricone certainly doesn’t hurt.

Number 4: Pulp Fiction

Oh how many watches am I gonna get shoved up my ass for this placement? That’s right, the fourth place winner is Tacheometer’s sophomore outing, “Pulp Fiction”. Often considered one of the greatest movies ever made (and I can see why), it tells the tale of many assholes and their overlapping stories. And it’s that story that brings it down a bit for me (*”Ironside” siren blares*). It’s fun to watch, but the jumping back and forth, especially between so many stories can make it feel a little, well, jumpy at times, which can every so lightly fuck with the pacing a times. But with the help from an amazing cast, great music, and the ever so fiery dialogue, it manages to still hold up quite well.

Number 3: Django Unchained

A mostly straightforward revenge tale, Tartarology’s “Django Unchained” still manages to entertain across its nearly three hour runtime thanks to a colorful cast, an amazing soundtrack, and some of the most blood-soaked shootouts I have ever fucking seen. It’s a bit of slavery drama mixed with a popcorn bloodbath. What’s not to love?

Number 2: Reservoir Dogs

At the number two slot is where we find Tatterdemalion’s cinematic debut, “Reservoir Dogs”, a heist movie that isn’t really a heist movie. Showing the before and after of a botched diamond robbery, the movie jumps back and forth as we get to know the various characters as they deal with this entire situation. It’s fun, it’s suspenseful, and it’s one of the most impressive debuts I have ever seen.

NUMBER 1: Inglourious Basterds

And we’re finally at the number 1 slot. Numero uno. Top of the pops. My favorite of Tangoreceptor’s movies. “Inglourious Basterds” is a clever piece of historical fiction, showing the stories of various people trying to kill nazis. From a group of Jewish-American guerrilla soldiers, to the British government, to a young woman seeking revenge… everyone is out for nazi blood, and it is one hell of a good time. Dramatic, funny, suspenseful, exciting, it’s everything one could want in a movie from this director. There’s a ton of great stuff within this movie that I don’t have the time (or current willingness) to write about, but all of it comes together wonderfully to make my favorite movie from this director.

So what do you think? What’s your favorite movie from Quantum Turnbuckle? Please tell me, I’d love to hear from y’all.
Have a good one.

Movie Review: Inglourious Basterds (2009)


Let’s face it…Quentin Tarantino is the king of odd movies. “Pulp Fiction”, “Kill Bill”, “Django Unchained” to mention a few. But the thing is, these odd movies are for the most part good. I know I said I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Kill Bill vol. 1″, but in general I am a Tarantino fan. His odd movies are interesting. And back in 2009 he made a little WW2 movie (as if there weren’t enough of those). Now, is it good? Is it bad? Will this guy here like it? I mean it is a bit weird to see a Tarantino movie that doesn’t even have Samuel L. Jackson in it.

Ladies and Gents…”Inglourious Basterds”.

Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent) experienced a not too fun thing. One day when she was hiding under the floorboards of a man’s house to hide from Nazi’s…she and her family who hid were found. And who found them exactly? SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). He and his men shot up the place, killing almost everyone. Shosanna managed to get away. Several years later she owns a cinema called “Le Gamaar Cinema”. She meets nazi soldier Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Brühl) and kind of strikes up an awkward relationship/friendship with him. Later when she finds out his new movie will play at her cinema and several high ranked nazi officers will be there she plots to get revenge.
But that is not all, there is a second story getting intertwined in it all. And that is the story of the American-Jewish group “The Basterds”. They are led by lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). They are in the Nazi occupied france to kill every nazi they see. Among the troops we have Sergeant Donny “The Bear Jew” Donowitz (Eli Roth) who’s main way of dispatching Nazis is by caving their heads in with a baseball bat…ouch. Then we have Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz (Til Schweiger) who is mainly a big brute. And finally we have pfc. (private, first class) Smithson Utivitch (B.J. Novak) who is just another basterd. Of course there are more members of the team, but they are not really as majorly important to the movie as these guys. Anyway, they also meet up with british lieutenant Archie Hicox (Michael Fassbender) for a special plan…Now I am not going to say more? Because like any Tarantino movie, this is over-the-fucking-top. And that is pretty good. Still, this is a relatively straight forward and regularly paced movie. You can even notice a bit of it in “Django Unchained” how he have changed his still a little bit since we first saw him. And to be completely honest, that is probably for the better. Trust me. But still, really good story once you watch it and don’t sit here and listen to me.

The characters are fucking awesome. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise considering…again, this is a Tarantino movie. And in those types of movies, awesome characters are very common. They are all incredibly unique and just in general very entertaining to watch. There is nothing more to it really. I am very pleased with the choice of actors as well, they are PERFECTLY picked for their respective characters. I especially love the character of Hans Landa. Sometimes he can be the nicest and most polite person ever and then the next minute be as cruel as the devil himself. No wonder Christoph Waltz got an Oscar for the role.

The music…so good. There are a few orchestral pieces here and there but also include songs that use electric guitar. I really don’t have much to say…only that if I could meet the composer, I would kiss him/her on the forehead and then go down on my kness and yell “I’M NOT WORTHY, I’M NOT WORTHY!”.

General stuff there is nothing more than the obvious stuff like how this movie is violent and very bloody. But that is not much of a surprise considering this is a…you get it.

Reception for “Inglourious Basterds” was good. Rotten Tomatoes holds an 89% positive rating and a “Fresh” certification. Metacritic got a 69/100 on it. Roger Ebert gave this movie 4/4 stars and said this:

“Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds is a big, bold, audacious war movie that will annoy some, startle others and demonstrate once again that he’s the real thing, a director of quixotic delights.

imdb.com has the score of 8,9/10 and has it ranked #100 on their Top 250 list.
The movie was also nominated for eight Oscars, but only won one…Best Supporting Actor – Christoph Waltz.

I have praised this movie and told you a bunch of shit in this review and can finally give you a score. Score for “Inglourious Basterds” is a 9,62/10 and of course…the “SEAL OF APPROVAL!” This is one hell of a movie and I recommend you buy it.

Review of “Inglourious Basterds” is done.

Where is Samuel L. Jackson, Tarantino? Where are you hiding him!?

It’s been a while…

Hello people of the wordpresses and internets…it’s been a while since I made a post like this (Regular talk my ass off post). I am sorry about that since I’ve kinda lost interest in them and focused a little more on the reviews. So today I am giving you another regular post and will try to make one every now and then. READY, STEADY, GO!

For the most part not much have changed, summer vacation started a few weeks ago. And next week I will do three weeks of (paid) work. “What is this job you will have then if I may ask?” I hear you crying…and I will tell you. I will basically be a tourist guide and guide people who are somewhat interested in the history of the town they are in. And that’s it. I earn a decent payment for my work. So I am happy, especially since I get to do something this summer insted of JUST sitting my ass down and being a lazy dick all the time.

In the past few days (as of the release of this post) I have gotten my hands on some pretty neat stuff. Mainly movies and books. 

Movies: American Hustle (2013)
             The Departed (2006) 
             Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Books: Saving Private Ryan – Max Allan Collins
            L.A. Confidential – James Ellroy
            Sight Unseen – Robert Goddard
            Odd Thomas – Dean R. Koontz

Those are the things I got my dirty hands on. Boom.

Not much else has happened really. I mainly got a new style of wearing buttoned shirts instead of t-shirts (for the most part). 

I really now have nothing more…oh wait! I ate a really delicious lunch with my parents today…and it was not only very delicious…it was FUCKING AWESOME. Never eaten in an Indian restaurant before and I wish I had experienced it earlier.

Well, I’ll see you later!

Maybe I should record my recent purchases here…