Guest Post: Women Led Horror

Hey there, hope you’re doing well. So once again, I will be taking a bit of a backseat on a post. Because for the second time ever, we have a special guest giving us a little treat. And wouldn’t you know, it’s none other than my good friend Mary, who recently wrote another great piece for us. So without further ado, let’s see what Mary has to say about female-driven horror movies. Take it away, Mary!

When it comes to horror movies, it’s fair to say that female characters often get the shite end of the stick. Paraded around in skimpy outfits; tripping over tree branches whilst being pursued by the movie monster; sexual activity rewarded with being the first to die … These movie tropes are deeply ingrained and highly condescending. And whilst they still haven’t completely disappeared, there are plenty of alternatives. Narratives where women are strong, logical protagonists or well fleshed out villains are becoming easier to find. They are there to do so much more than scream and flee.

So, who laid the groundwork and who is benefitting? Traces of which 60s and 70s classics can be found in which contemporary movies? Here are some of all the most iconic performances from women in horror movies.

Rosemary’s Boby (1968)

Carrie (1976)

The image of Sissy Spacek, drenched in blood has to be one of the most iconic of horror cinema. She gives a phenomenal performance here as the titular character – a social outcast and a victim of her mother’s religious fervour. It’s a performance that requires a lot of credibility – telekinesis has been used rather ropily before and since – but Spacek is commanding yet vulnerable.

Suspiria (1977)

Garishly nightmarish, the original Dario Argento movie is a giallo classic. Jessica Harper gives an impressive performance as the ballet dancer, Suzy Bannion, who quickly realises that all is not quite right with her new dance school. Despite disorientating colourscapes and the Goblin soundtrack, her performance does not get lost in amongst it all. She is determined to be believed …

Alien (1979)

It’s no secret that the character of Ripley was written as a man, which is perhaps why Sigourney Weaver’s take on the role is so important. She’s not softened or “feminised” in any way. Instead, she’s quietly commanding, physically capable and intellectually three steps ahead of her colleagues. She is perhaps the most memorable “last woman standing”.

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Freddie Kruger – a horror icon himself – is busy invading the dreams of small town teenagers and picking them off, one by one, in this Halloween classic. However, he and his knives are no match for Nancy Thompson, played by Heather Langenkamp.  Director Wes Craven has acknowledged that he wanted a cliché-free, progressive female lead.

Misery (1990)

From hero to villain, now, as Kathy Bates takes on James Caan in this Stephen King adaptation. Despite presenting as a mousy, introverted middle aged woman, Annie Wilkes is one of the most terrifying female villains. Bates turns on the charm – and the scares – at the drop of a hat and it is this duality that makes her so scary.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Yes, Anthony Hopkins is the consummate movie maniac here, but it is Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling who deserves all the plaudits here. A rookie FBI investigator, she holds her nerve when faced with Hannibal the Cannibal. It’s all about the power dynamic here and Foster gives a convincingly reassured performance.

Scream (1996)

Whilst everyone was talking about – and buying – those ghoulish white masks, it is Neve Campbell’s Sidney Prescott who stands out in Scream. She is another well-written, multi-dimensional female lead with vulnerabilities and strengths. She even mocks the masked killer with comments as to how scary movies are always about screaming women running the wrong way from their pursuers.

Audition (1999)

You could be forgiven – on first watch – for thinking that the villain of the piece was the sleazy Shigeharu Aoyama, the man who is literally auditioning girls to be his new wife. That is, until you see that garbage bag move … Eihi Shiina gives a truly fascinating performance as the seemingly sweet but ultimately twisted as fuck Asami Yamazaki.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)

This irresistibly shot Iranian movie centres around a female vampire, played by Sheila Vand, who is picking off deviant male victims one by one. So not only is this movie beautiful to look at, it also has a strong feminist message and female lead. Vand gives a thoroughly engaging performance, with so much being conveyed through a look or her physicality.

Midsommar (2019)

Florence Pugh’s Dani is both victim and victor in Ari Aster’s movie. She starts the film suffering emotional trauma and being gaslit by her douchebag boyfriend. Pugh really draws you in to her character – it’s an incredibly physical and demanding performance – so that by the time that enigmatic little smile crosses her face, you’ll be fully onside. But should you be?

Written by Mary Palmer

My Favorite Albums of 2020

Hello there. I hope you’re doing well (unless you’re a racist piece of shit, then off you fuck). We have reached that time of year again. The time where I share my terrible opinions on a bunch of music. That’s right, once again I will share my favorite albums of the year that just ended. But before we begin, let’s lay down some ground rules.

Rule number 1: Let’s all be kind here. This is my list, my opinions, and I hope you can respect them. If you don’t agree with any of them, that’s fine. Just don’t be a dick about it in the comments section.

Rule number 2: I will not be including any greatest hits albums, as that’d just be cheating for very obvious reasons. Only albums of previously unreleased material.

Rule number 3: No soundtracks/scores from movies/tv/games for similar reasons as rule number 2. This is strictly a list of regular albums released by bands/artists.

With all that out of the way, let’s get into my favorite albums of 2020!

Number 11: Gangstagrass – No Time For Enemies (Sample: Nickel And Dime Blues)

Kicking it off with number 11 we have the latest release from eclectic music project Gangstagrass. For the uninitiated, Gangstagrass is a group that mixes bluegrass with hiphop. I’ve been a fan of them for a few years, and I was super excited to see them release some new material. And it’s really solid. It’s fun, but it also has some deeper meaning with a few of its tracks. It’s just good stuff.

Number 10: Hayley Williams – Petals For Armor (Sample: Simmer)

At number 10 is the first ever solo release from Paramore vocalist Hayley Williams. It’s very clear from the offset that this is a very raw and personal project for Williams, which brings us an album that is manages to both entertain as a general music experience, while also giving off a bit of a somber, introspective vibe at times. And that makes for a really interesting listening experience that I’d certainly recommend.

Number 9: Neil Young – Homegrown (Sample: Separate Ways)

Next up on the list is the latest release form none other than Neil Young (more like Neil Old, am I right?). And much like “Hitchhiker” in 2017, this album was actually recorded way back in the 70s, but has remained in the archives since then… until 2020 that is. And while not as terrific as the aforementioned “Hitchhiker”, there is no denying just how good Young is as a songwriter. You can tell that he was going through some stuff at the time, which translated itself a little into the songs themselves. And it makes for a really solid album.

Number 8: Blue Öyster Cult – The Symbol Remains (Sample: That Was Me)

Speaking of old people releasing new albums, Blue Öyster Cult’s back. 19 years after their last studio release, the band has come out with “The Symbol Remains”. And despite that long time between albums, it’s clear that these gents have lost none of their skill. What you get here is a healthy mix of the Cult’s older style, with some more modern influences sown throughout, making for a sound that shows the band’s ability to evolve without sacrificing what makes them unique and interesting. And I love that.

Number 7: Tyler Bryant & The Shakedown – Pressure (Sample: Pressure)

Coming in at 7th place is “Pressure”, the latest release from American hard rock act Tyler Bryant & The Shakedown. Crunchy guitars, scratchy vocals, ear-meltingly good solos, and some nice, driving percussion. It’s everything you could ask for in a good hard rock release.

Number 6: Alastair Greene – The New World Blues (Sample: Lies and Fear)

Ending the back half of this list is American blues rocker Alastair Greene’s latest release. And let me tell you, if you love blues rock as much as I do, then you’re in for a treat with this. What you get are some fun and frankly interesting lyrics, sung by someone with a really good blues voice. And as the cherry on top you get some absolutely excellent guitar work that is an absolute joy to listen to. It’s a damn good album.

Number 5: Joe Bonamassa – Royal Tea (Sample: Royal Tea)

Speaking of feelin’ the blues… Smokin’ Joe is back with another album. And once again he has managed to make his way onto a best of the year list. Is it possible that I might be a bit of a Bonamassa fanboy? Yes. But that’s also the beauty of this blog… I can let my fanboyisms fly, and no one can stop me. But in all seriousness, Bonamassa is an excellent musician whose craft improves with every new album he releases. And “Royal Tea” is further proof of that, bringing us more of the uniquely interesting lyrics/vocals and ear-melting guitar work I’ve come to expect from him.

Number 4: Deep Purple – Whoosh! (Sample: The Power of the Moon)

I’ll be honest, after 2017’s “Infinite”, I wasn’t sure if Deep Purple would make another album. But 2020 proved me fucking wrong with the release of “Whoosh!” (that’s a fun title). Do you like Deep Purple? Then you’re gonna fucking like “Whoosh!”. It has a lot of the staples we’ve come to expect from them in terms of style, just done to absolute perfection. Ian Gillan’s vocals are still top notch, there’s still good guitar work, and the heavy synth is still as fun as ever. Will this album be listed as a classic along “Machine Head” or “In Rock”? Only time will tell. But in this moment I can at least say without a doubt that it’s a fucking great album. A fucking great album called “Whoosh!”.

Number 3: Run the Jewels – RTJ4 (Sample: Ooh LA LA)

Taking the bronze on this list is the latest album from rap duo Run the Jewels. What’s extra fascinating about it is that they released the album for free on their website before the actual release date, as a gift in the harsh times of 2020. And that’s a cool fucking gesture on their part. And the album itself is great (its inclusion here shoulda been a dead giveaway), featuring plenty of great flows, lyrics with plenty of meaning, and a lot of fun beats. There’s also plenty of interesting guest appearances throughout that adds a lot to it. It’s just a top tier rap album, man.

Number 2: Sepultura – Quadra (Sample: Isolation)

I’ll be honest, for years I couldn’t get into Sepultura. I don’t know why, but for some reason I had a hard time seeing the appeal. But in recent years I have started coming around to them. And the latest album from the Brazilian metal band is some excellent stuff. It hearkens back to a lot of mid to late 80s thrash, while also featuring elements of death metal and even some traditional Brazilian music. And it makes for one of the most electrifying listening experiences I had in 2020.

NUMBER 1: Blues Pills – Holy Moly! (Sample: Kiss My Past Goodbye)

Here we are, friends. The final one. The gold medalist. El queso grande. My favorite album of 2020 is “Holy Moly!”, the latest release from Swedish psychdelic blues rock band Blues Pills. I stumbled upon one of their songs around two years ago, loving it. So I checked out a few more songs, loving those. Which had me eagerly anticipating whatever they’d release next. Cut to 2020 and “Holy Moly!” hits stores and streaming and wherever else their music can be found. And right from that first listen, I fell in love. This album is fun, funky, and absolutely electrifying. It’s simply fantastic.

So those were my favorite albums of 2020. And whether you agree with my picks or not, I hope you enjoyed reading through that. Maybe you even discovered a new favorite? Anyhow, if you have any favorite album from 2020, feel free to mention it in the comments.

Have a good one.

My Favorite Albums of 2019

Well howdy there, ladies and gents, I hope you’re all doing great. It’s that time of year again. That time when I go over my favorite albums from the year that’s recently passed. It’s a yearly tradition on this blog, and I have no intention of stopping it yet. So, let’s go over some rules first.

Rule 1: Please keep it civil. These are my picks. If you don’t agree with them, that’s fine. If you want to have a discussion about good music from last year, then I’m very much open to it. All I ask is that you keep it civil. Be kind and respectful.

Rule 2: No movie soundtracks/scores. I love listen to movie music, but if I included any of those albums, this list would go on for days, and no one has time or patience for that.

Rule 3: No “Greatest Hits” albums. I think that explains itself, no compilations of a band’s best songs. That’d be cheating.

That should about cover it. Now, without further ado.. my favorite albums of 2019!

Number 15: Rival Sons – Feral Roots (Sample: Do Your Worst)

Kicking off the bottom of the list (bottom does not equal bad, just means least awesome) is the latest release from Californian rock band Rival Sons. These dudes have a very old school approach to their style that I appreciate, since good ol’ fashioned hard rock doesn’t dominate the airwaves as much as it once did. So it’s good to hear a band keeping that sound alive. It’s a fun album.

Number 14: Dream Theater – Distance Over Time (Sample: Untethered Angel)

At number 14 we got the latest release from long running  prog-metal band Dream Theater. It’s a slightly more stripped back and focused affair than some of DT’s other releases… but that doesn’t stop it from being a fun, epic, and frankly fun album to listen to. It doesn’t really do much to seem like something new in the band’s discography, but it also doesn’t need to, because it’s still a badass album.

Number 13: Whiskey Myers – Whiskey Myers (Sample: Die Rockin’)

At number 13 we find the latest release from Whiskey Myers, an American country/southern rock band from Texas. I actually discovered them earlier in 2019 when I heard two of their older songs in an episode of “Yellowstone”. Obviously liking what I heard, I of course started checking out the band more (like their previous album/social media). And that’s when I found out they were releasing a new album, which had me interested. And when I listened to it… well, the inclusion of it on this list should be a dead giveaway as to my feelings on it. The band is like a heavier version of Lynyrd Skynyrd, and I really like that sound, which is why this is on the list.

Number 12: Beth Hart – War in My Mind (Sample: Bad Woman Blues)

Next up we have the new release from American blues singer Beth Hart. In this release, Beth strikes a nice balance between blues, funk, and soul to create a sound that is simply magical. I’ve enjoyed Hart’s music for a few years, and this album doesn’t disappoint at all, it is a blast to listen to.

Number 11: Phil Campbell – Old Lions Still Roar (Sample: Rocking Chair)

Coming in at number 11 we have the solo album debut of former Motörhead guitarist Phil Campbell. Even with the experience as guitarist in one of the greatest metal bands of all time, you never know how well your solo stuff might turn out. But Campbell (along with his many guest acts) really knocked it out of the park. Some are more stripped back affairs like “Rocking Chair”, but then you also got tracks like “Faith in Fire”. But one thing one notices throughout it all is that Campbell is quite contemplative in his tunes, which makes for a rock album that pleases both poetically and in terms of being fun to listen to.

Number 10: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Ghosteen (Sample: Bright Horses)

Now we’re getting into the meat and p’taters of this list, the top ten. And kicking off this section is “Ghosteen”, the new release from Australian artist Nick Cave, and his band, The Bad Seeds. It’s a direct follow-up to their previous album, “Skeleton Tree” (which also made it to my best of the year list when it came out). In that album, there were moments where Cave was dealing with the recent death of his son, and Ghosteen is him fully embracing that dark and contemplative process, making for a beautiful and haunting album that, while not something I’d put on at any time, still had a lasting effect on me thanks to its beautiful production, and Cave’s soulful and pained vocals.

Number 9: Tyler Bryant & The Shakedown – Truth and Lies (Sample: Shock & Awe)

At number 9 we have “Truth and Lies”, the new album from blues-inspired hard rock act Tyler Bryant & The Shakedown. If you like heavy blues-rock, then this should be right up your alley. I certainly like that sound, and I really like this album, it’s cool.

Number 8: Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell! (Sample: Norman fucking Rockwell)

Every year there’s usually at least one album that sneaks onto my list that I didn’t expect in the fucking slightest. And this time, it’s the latest release from American pop singer Lana Del Rey. It’s a soulful and cleverly written album which features Lana discussing some interesting stuff, all while a beautiful strings and piano-based production backs her up. And it’s all great, making for an enjoyable trip that I wouldn’t mind listening to again.

Number 7: Neil Young with Crazy Horse – Colorado (Sample: Olden Days)

More like Neil Old, am I right? Joking aside, how the fuck is Neil Young still releasing good music. Sure, his voice isn’t quite what it once was. But the fact that the songwriting still hits me and his voice still conveying every emotion perfectly is testament to his skill. Combine that with his first teamup with Crazy Horse since 2012, and we got a really well produced album that finds Young still knows how to reach into my heart and make me think.

Number 6: Bruce Springsteen – Western Stars (Sample: Western Stars)

From one old legend to another, at number 6 we have the latest release from The Boss himself, Bruce god damn Springsteen. And he hasn’t lost his touch yet, “Western Stars” is a beautiful country/soft rock album that shows Springsteen at his strongest once again. I don’t know what else to say here, Bruce Springsteen making good music shouldn’t really be much of a surprise to anyone.

Number 5: Airbourne – Boneshaker (Sample: Burnout the Nitro)

From nice and soulful, to high octane rock n roll. This was seriously one of, if not my most anticipated album of the year. I am a huge fan of this band and their AC/DC-esque sound. A new Airbourne release is always fun to listen to, because they just make some badass rock n roll. When I first listened to it, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this one. I thought it was fine, not making much of an impact. But further listens have made me appreciate it more. It’s not groundbreaking, but it’s certainly… a boneshaker.

Number 4: The Highwomen – The Highwomen (Sample: Redesigning Women)

At number 4 we have a self-titled album from all-lady country band The Highwomen. Sound-wise, it’s a classic country sound, showing that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Where it stands out however is in the lyrical department, making some interesting commentary on society and women’s role in it, which I find quite fascinating and engaging, especially when paired with the beautiful country composition.

Number 3: Leonard Cohen – Thanks for the Dance (Sample: Thanks for the Dance)

We’re getting into the nitty-gritty now, y’all. In the bronze position, we find the new release from the late, great Leonard Cohen, which he of course recorded before his passing in 2016. Produced by Cohen’s son, Adam, this is a beautiful, emotionally charged, and soulful experience that sees Cohen at his finest. It’s a nice posthumous send-off for one of the greatest songwriters ever.

Number 2: King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Infest the Rat’s Nest (Sample: Planet B)

Well, this is certainly a leap in genres. In second place is the newest release from Australian rock band King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard (possibly the greatest band name ever). And it’s an old school thrash metal album, hearkening back to mid-80s Metallica or Slayer, while still putting in some minor flourishes of their own to make it stand out. And good god damn, I am in love with this album. I only heard it for the first time very recently, and yet it has made quite an impact for me. Partly because of the interesting storytelling concepts throughout the songs, but mainly because I am a big fan of old school thrash metal, and this is one of the finest takes on that genre.

NUMBER 1: Gangstagrass – Pocket Full of Fire (Sample: You Can Never Go Home Again)

In previous years, I’ve had a rule against including live concert albums. But I decided to loosen that rule this year because 1, this my blog (so I can do whatever I want). And 2, I really really really wanted to mention this. What we have here is American hip-hop/bluegrass band (yes, that mix does work) Gangstagrass at various live venues, playing their songs, and making it all sound fantastic. Seriously, these are some of the best and most head-bobbing recordings I’ve heard of these songs. So yeah, my number 1 is technically cheating my own rules, but I also don’t care, because great music transcends everything.

So those were my favorite albums of 2019. But now I’d love to hear from your guys, what are some of your favorites? Let me know in the comments.
Have a good one.

My Most Anticipated Movies of 2020

Well hello there, friends! Hope you’ve all had a great christmas or hanukkah or whatever the fuck you’ve been celebrating. And if you haven’t been celebrating anything, I hope you’ve at least had a good few days. After the nearly non-stop blogging I did with my 12 Films of Christmas series, I decided to take a few days off, rest up my old joints. But you’re only 22. Yes, but I have the ligaments of a geriatric refrigerator. Anyway, so now that we’ve got the holidays over with, let’s look to the future. Specifically, I want to look forward to 2020, and have a look at what movies will be coming out at the start of the new decade. And despite the title, this list isn’t strictly about movies I’m super hyped for. Some are, but for the most part it’s more just “Movies I’m kind of interested in”. But that wouldn’t be as catchy, you know.

But before we get into the meat of the post, let’s set up a few ground rules.

Rule 1: You know those movies that get a somewhat limited release first, and then get more international coverage after the new year? Yeah, we’re not including those. So stuff like “Jojo Rabbit”, “The Farewell”, “Little Women”, etc. won’t be featured on this list. Only movies whose official first release happen in 2020.

Rule 2: Please don’t be an asshole in the comments. This is my list, with my opinions. If you don’t agree with any of my choices, and look forward to other movies, then that’s great… but don’t call me names or be a cunt about it. Be cool, yeah? Feel free to make your own list, let’s have a friendly discussion.

Rule 3: Don’t feed the animals.

So, with that stuff said… here’s a list of 2020 movies I’m looking forward to.

The Gentlemen

First up is “The Gentlemen”, an upcoming crime-comedy-action-thriller from Guy Ritchie. And that’s seriously all you’d need to tell me to get me excited. Ritchie has been in a weird spot for the past decade, doing various weird movies. But now it seems like he’s going back to his crime movie roots, which has me quite excited. Combine that with a stacked cast featuring people like Matthew McConaughey, Hugh Grant, Colin Farrell, Charlie Hunnam, and so many more… and you have my money like *that*.

Wonder Woman 1984

Next up, a superhero movie. Yeah yeah, some of you are probably tired of superhero stuff and people talking about them, but cut me some slack, I like fun adventure movies, and this’ll probably be such a thing. I was a big fan of the 2017 “Wonder Woman” movie, and since this has the same creative team behind it, I am sure it’ll be at least a good time.

The Invisible Man

A reboot of a classic franchise… and also a horror movie? Two things that usually don’t grab my interest that much. But in recent years I have become more of a horror fan, and I was a fan of the director’s previous movie, “Upgrade”, so I’m interested to see where this goes.

Black Widow

Yes, more superhero stuff. I like superhero stuff. And with Marvel Studios’ track record, I’m expecting this to be a competently made action movie. And this looks like it’ll be a pretty badass spy-thriller/action movie. Plus, it’s nice to finally see this character getting her own movie after being a supporting player in others for so many years.

Last Night in Soho

Two words: Edgar Wright. Seriously, that is all it took to sell me on this movie. I’m a big fan of that director, so I’m gonna be excited for whatever he does. And with this being described as a psychological thriller, I’m extra intrigued to see what the final product could end up being.

Dune

This is one of those I am interested in, while also having my reservations. Yes, the cast is amazing. Yes, the director is amazing. Yes, the source material is really good. But it’s that last part that is what has me a bit careful. “Dune” is such a dense and unique book, which makes me worried how the hell someone go about adapting it. But I guess we’ll see late 2020. Again, still interested thanks to the cast and director.

The King’s Man

I am a big fan of “Kingsman: The Secret Service”, and I don’t mind “Kingsman: The Golden Circle”. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’d be excited for the next entry, which apparently is set in World War 1. A fun action movie set during the most depressing war in recent history? Matthew Vaughn, you’re mad, and I love you for it.

Godzilla vs. Kong

Look, I get that the critical reception for “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” wasn’t great. But I also don’t care, because I like seeing giant monsters kicking the shit out of each other. And with two of history’s most popular movie monsters going at it for the first time since 1962, it’s quite an exciting time to be a kaiju fan.

Top Gun: Maverick

I’m gonna say it, I’m not a huge fan of the original “Top Gun”. It’s… fine. So why am I excited for its sequel, which inexplicably is coming out 34 years later? Honestly, ’cause it looks kinda badass, and because I want to see Tom “Batshit Crazy” Cruise fly a jet. Yes, he really did that. Fucking madman.

Tenet

And the last one we’re gonna mention in this post is “Tenet”, the new movie from Christopher Nolan. And it seems like it’s gonna be a bit of a mindbending spy-thriller. I will be excited for whatever Nolan does, but the fact that the sentence I just said before got said has me even more hyped. This is my most anticipated movie of 2020.

So that’s a few movies I’m excited for in 2020. Feel free to mention some of yours, I’d love to hear from you.
Have a good one.

Quentin Rankantino

Howdy, motherfuckers. Today we’re doing something a little bit differently. Instead of reviewing something, we’re ranking stuff. And by we, I mean me. With the impending release of “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”, I have been rewatching all of Quentin Tarantino’s movies. So now that I got that task done, I have decided to rank them, from least favorite, to my top pick. So get your buckets of blood and Samuel L. Jacksons ready as we rank the movies of Quentin Tarantino, in a special post we call… Quentin Rankantino!

Number 9: Death Proof.

Coming in at the bottom is Tarantino’s grindhouse homage, “Death Proof” (fittingly used within the “Grindhouse” double feature). It’s not awful per se, but it’s Tarantula’s weakest movie by a mile. The pacing is wonky, and I don’t exactly find any of the characters particularly interesting. What gives it some points are the action scenes, which are a hard-hitting bit of fun. Also, Kurt fucking Russell… I don’t have much to say there, I just like Kurt Russell.

Number 8: Jackie Brown.

For our number 8 slot we make a huge god damn leap from “not that good” to “that’s really good”. In Toronto’s third movie, based on “Rum Punch” by Elmore Leonard, a stewardess (Pam Grier) gets drawn into a complex crime plot by the ATF. It can feel a bit cluttered at times, affecting the pacing a bit, which is why it finds itself so low on the list. But with that said, thanks to the stellar cast and one hell of a funky soundtrack it still stands out as a damn solid movie in this director’s filmography.

Number 7: Kill Bill Volume 1

Now, I know that Turntable considers “Kill Bill” one movie, but they were released as two, so I rank them as two. Now, I find the story and characterization a bit weak in this one… but it’s still a damn good movie, filled with stylish, batshit insane action and some fun performances.

Number 6: Kill Bill Volume 2

While I’d put both “Assassinate William” movies on the same level in terms of various technicalities, I still do prefer the second one, due to its slower, more character-driven journey. Yes, we do still get some crazy, well handled action, but it’s not quite as much as in the first movie… and that’s okay.

Number 5: The Hateful Eight

Tabernacle’s second western is quite the interesting tale of assholes trying to not kill each other… which is technically how one could describe all his movies to some extent. Hmm. Either way, this 2015 western-drama-thriller may be very slow, but it’s quite the electrifying experience, thanks in large part to the absolutely mesmerizing performances from its core cast. Plus, having a score from maestro Ennio Morricone certainly doesn’t hurt.

Number 4: Pulp Fiction

Oh how many watches am I gonna get shoved up my ass for this placement? That’s right, the fourth place winner is Tacheometer’s sophomore outing, “Pulp Fiction”. Often considered one of the greatest movies ever made (and I can see why), it tells the tale of many assholes and their overlapping stories. And it’s that story that brings it down a bit for me (*”Ironside” siren blares*). It’s fun to watch, but the jumping back and forth, especially between so many stories can make it feel a little, well, jumpy at times, which can every so lightly fuck with the pacing a times. But with the help from an amazing cast, great music, and the ever so fiery dialogue, it manages to still hold up quite well.

Number 3: Django Unchained

A mostly straightforward revenge tale, Tartarology’s “Django Unchained” still manages to entertain across its nearly three hour runtime thanks to a colorful cast, an amazing soundtrack, and some of the most blood-soaked shootouts I have ever fucking seen. It’s a bit of slavery drama mixed with a popcorn bloodbath. What’s not to love?

Number 2: Reservoir Dogs

At the number two slot is where we find Tatterdemalion’s cinematic debut, “Reservoir Dogs”, a heist movie that isn’t really a heist movie. Showing the before and after of a botched diamond robbery, the movie jumps back and forth as we get to know the various characters as they deal with this entire situation. It’s fun, it’s suspenseful, and it’s one of the most impressive debuts I have ever seen.

NUMBER 1: Inglourious Basterds

And we’re finally at the number 1 slot. Numero uno. Top of the pops. My favorite of Tangoreceptor’s movies. “Inglourious Basterds” is a clever piece of historical fiction, showing the stories of various people trying to kill nazis. From a group of Jewish-American guerrilla soldiers, to the British government, to a young woman seeking revenge… everyone is out for nazi blood, and it is one hell of a good time. Dramatic, funny, suspenseful, exciting, it’s everything one could want in a movie from this director. There’s a ton of great stuff within this movie that I don’t have the time (or current willingness) to write about, but all of it comes together wonderfully to make my favorite movie from this director.

So what do you think? What’s your favorite movie from Quantum Turnbuckle? Please tell me, I’d love to hear from y’all.
Have a good one.

While You Wait: Game of Thrones

Hello there, and welcome to a new thing. Not sure it it’ll be a recurring series, but if this gets a good response, then it might. Any way, hello everyone. With the final season of HBO megahit “Game of Thrones” arriving in less than two weeks, fan are eagerly anticipating it. But until then, some might be asking themselves what they could watch to tide them over until then. Well, I’m here to perhaps help with that in some regard, by giving you some personal recommendations for things that could maybe fill that void in some respect. And if you don’t give a shit about “Game of Thrones”, then you’ll at least have a few recommendations for things to experience. So let’s go.

This is While You Wait: Game of Thrones edition.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (New Line Cinema, 2001 – 2003)

This entry should come as no surprise in the slightest. Big, epic fantasy with a grandiose story, a stellar cast, and tons of detail in props and filmmaking. Look, I am aware that this and “Game of Thrones” are very different in tone… style… language… amount of tits, but still, can’t talk about relevant recommendations for a major fantasy thing without mentioning another one.

Westworld (HBO Entertainment, Warner Bros. Television, 2016 – now)

While we’re talking about one major HBO series, we might as well talk about another one. “Westworld”, based on the 1973 film by Michael Crichton, is a series created by Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy, and follows a theme park that is built up like a giant wild west world (Hence, “Westworld”). But as expected, things may or may not go awry (wouldn’t be a show otherwise). Let’s see, big sweeping story (check), A-list cast (check), Ramin Djawadi making music (check), budget higher than what any of us make in a year (check), violence (check), naked people (super check)… yeah, this has a shitload in common with “GoT”, so that’s why I recommend it.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Bethesda Softworks, 2011)

That’s right, there be video games on this list too. Released in 2011, “Skyrim” was the fifth mainline game in the “Elder Scrolls” series. In times of great political turmoil, you play as a character that almost gets executed, but gets “saved” by a giant dragon attacking the city that you’re in. And it doesn’t take long for you to find out that you’re Dragonborn, a mighty warrior destined to slay dragons and steal their souls. Political tensions, various factions doing their own shit within the kingdoms, epic fantasy, DRAGONS. Need I say more as to why a “Thrones” fan might want to play this? It’s not one of my favorites, but I still feel like it’s a good recommendation for fans of “GoT” who might want to get some game time in.

Berserk (OLM Inc, 1997 – 1998)

And now we move into something a bit older, but is a bit more of a recent watch for me. “Berserk” is a 1997 anime series based on a manga series of the same name by Kentaro Miura. It follows a highly capable swordsman named Guts as he joins a mercenary group called the Band of the Hawk, after its leader, Griffith, defeats Guts in combat. And so Guts, along with Griffith, and the other members of the group fight their way through the kingdom of Midland. And we do also get to see how Guts and Griffith’s actions affects the political climate in the kingdom, as well as how their bond evolves over the series. So it has both the big battles and political element of “GoT”, and it has the brutality of it… come to think of it, “Berserk” is probably even more brutal (and the series is allegedly very toned down compared to the original manga). Just a few details first… Skip episode one. I’m not kidding, skip it. It’s not even related to anything going on in the show, as it’s set after everything that happens. Maybe come back to it after finishing the other 24 episodes. And secondly, the ending (which I won’t fully spoil) has been a bit polarizing for people… and that’s all. Other than that, “Berserk” is great.

The Expanse (Alcon entertainment, 2016 – now)

So how do we go from high fantasy to sci-fi? Well, like in “Game of Thrones”, you can find a lot of political tension and character development in “The Expanse”. Set hundreds of years into the future, we follow various characters as they try to deal with their various situations while navigating the very dangerous political tensions between Earth and Mars. Need even more proof that this show is the “Game of Thrones” of sci-fi? It has been called the “Game of Thrones” of sci-fi by a fair amount of people. And I thank Amazon for picking it up after SyFy cancelled it.

Gladiator (Scott Free Productions, Univeral Pictures, 2000)

Epic battles, political intrigue (again), charismatic cast, big budget… do I really need to explain why Ridley Scott’s epic Oscar winner is one of the recommendations on this list? You all know why it is here.

The Dark Souls trilogy (FromSoftware, 2011 – 2016)

More video game goodness, and oh god, the traumatic flashbacks are rolling in. Admittedly I’ve only played the third game in the series, but based on my “enjoyment” of that, and the critical acclaim of the rest of the series, I feel confident in recommending them all. You play as a silent (not counting offs and ahs) protagonist who goes on quests that lead you across dark world where you’ll encounter strange creatures, interesting people, and pain… lots and lots of pain. It’s dark fantasy at it’s most bird-flipping. People love these games for their difficulty, and I do kind of appreciate the challenge from my playthrough(s) of the third game. Funnily enough, as I recommend this for “Thrones” reasons, these games take heavy inspiration from another thing on this list… that thing being “Berserk”.

The Revenant (Regency Enterprises, 21st Century Fox, 2015)

Ah yes, the 2015 movie that finally gave Leo his Oscar… and all it took was dragging himself through the dirt after getting his shit kicked in by a bear. Betrayal, brutality, cold, stellar acting, a gritty tone, these are things that make this movie good and also help make some of the “GoT” comparison a bit more valid.

The Godfather trilogy (Paramount Pictures, 1972 – 1990)

Now, how can I compare possible the most prolific gangster series of all time to one of the biggest tv shows of all time? Well, both are grand, sweeping, epic stories about family, legacy, and ruling over a kingdom of sorts. Some from an uncomfortable and pointy chair, and some in dark rooms in the mid-century United States. And yes, I am recommending all of them. The third movie is a huge step down from the first two, but it still has its moments.

Castlevania (Powerhouse Animation, Netflix, 2017 – now)

And for our final entry, let’s go a bit lighter. Don’t get me wrong, this show is dark, but at least it is allowed to get a bit over the top with its action. Based on the hit video game series, “Castlevania” follows Trevor Belmont (Richard Armitage), the last member of a long line of vampire hunters, as he reluctantly has to try to kill the king of all vampires… Dracula (Graham McTavish). Start with an epic fantasy, end with another. The animation is stellar, the plot engaging, and the characters very well realized. And to any stubborn people out there: This is a cartoon, not an anime. It may have some anime stylings, but it was entirely produced in the United States… so it’s a cartoon. But for those not stubborn: Watch this show, it’s great.

So those were some of my personal recommendations for those “Game of Thrones” fans wanting something to tide them over until April 14th, or maybe if something’s needed to fill the gap after the show ends. But I also ask of all of you, what other recommendations do you have that could fit this thing? Movie, show, book, game… any of them, I’m all ears.
Have a good one.

My Favorite Albums of 2018

Hello there, ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of year again. The time when I share with you some of my favorite albums of the year that recently ended. Took a little longer than usually this time, as I slacked a bit throughout 2018 in listening to a lot of new albums. But now we’re here. And I’m excited to start writing, this is one of my favorite things to do each year. Just a few stipulations between us.

Rule number 1: Please be nice. If you don’t agree with my picks, that is fine, I encourage discussion. Just don’t be a dick about it.

Rule number 2: I am not including any film scores/soundtracks, as that would make this list go on for way too long. Also, this is just to celebrate the music in its own right, and not have it clouded by any positive cinematic experiences.

Rule number 3: I don’t do EPs or singles. This is for those fully referred to as ALBUMS. So if there’s an EP that you liked that isn’t here, now you know why.

That should be it. Though I will also give an honorable mention to “Campfire” by Kasey Chambers and The Fireside Disciples. The few tracks I’ve heard from that album are incredible, but due to some licensing bullshit, I can’t listen to the full album since I’m not in Australia… and importing is too pricey, so I’m not gonna hear it anytime soon. But I guess an honorable mention is fine.

Anyway, with all that out of the way, now is the time for me to share my favorite albums of 2018!

Number 13: Luke Westaway – Short Songs With Long Titles (Sample: I Took a Week Off Work and My Brain Didn’t Know What to Do With That, Clearly).

Kicking off this list is an album with a very self-explanatory title. From Luke Westaway, most known for his hosting gig on the OutsideXtra youtube channel, comes “Short Songs With Long Titles” an album all about short songs with long titles. It’s a charming little thing that just puts a smile on my face. It’s not musically complex, it’s not emotionally charged… it’s just a guy having a bit of fun, and that is quite infectious, for me at least.

Number 12: Ry Cooder – The Prodigal Son (Sample: The Prodigal Son).

Next up is “The Prodigal Son”, the latest album from musician Ry Cooder. It has an interesting sound in how it blends a bit of rock and folk and blues and a tiny bit of country. And it blends together to make something really cool that I enjoy listening to.

Number 11: Kacey Musgraves – Golder Hour (Sample: Slow Burn).

At number 11 we have the latest release from pop/country artist Kacey Musgraves. When I first heard of Musgraves I dismissed her as another pop artist (like an asshole). But then later I started hearing murmurs of her actually being a country artist, which had me intrigued. And I decided to give her newest release a chance. And I’m glad I did, because it’s pretty damn good (evidenced by its inclusion here).

Number 10: Buddy Guy – The Blues is Alive and Well (Sample: A Few Good Years).

I think I’ve made it clear on this blog a few times that I’m a fan of blues. So the fact that such an old school blues album can be released in 2018 just makes me happy. Hell, that album title just summarizes my thoughts perfectly. The blues is indeed alive and well.

Number 9: Florence + The Machine – High as Hope (Sample: 100 Years)

First single digit entry is the latest from alt-rock/pop outfit Florence and The Machine (that “and” often stylized as a +). And with this, Florence Welch (who fronts the band) lays herself bare, talking about pain, suffering, sadness, and other such fun subjects. I already enjoyed the band to a certain extent, and this album is another reason for me to do so.

Number 8: Greta Van Fleet – Anthem of the Peaceful Army (Sample: Lover, Leaver).

At number 8 we have the latest release from legendary rock band Led Zeppelin. *Smack* Ouch, okay, fine, I’ll be serious… dick. So yeah, it’s impossible to talk about Greta Van Fleet without mentioning their similarity to Led Zep. I mean, Josh Kiszka’s voice is a dead ringer for a young Robert Plant. Anyway, similarities to Markus’ favorite bands aside, how does it stack up on its own as a rock album? It’s great (the inclusion on the list should’ve been a dead giveaway). It’s great to hear this kind of old school rock still being played in our current days. And who can complain about hearing a bit of new Led Zep material in 2018/2019? *Smack*.

Number 7: Shemekia Copeland – American’s Child (Sample: Ain’t Got Time For Hate).

Buddy Guy said it. Blues is alive and well. Copeland comments on a lot of current issues within the United States, and her message comes through beautifully through her strong vocals, and use of the blues genre. Blues is great for telling genres, so using it to send a message about some of the fucked up stuff going on in the world is a brilliant idea. Plus, it’s just a damn solid listen overall.

Number 6: Beth Hart & Joe Bonamassa – Black Coffee (Sample: Give it Everything You Got).

Man, 2018 was one hell of a year for blues. Even better is that this is a collab by one of the best duo’s in the genre. Hart and Bonamassa have done a couple albums before that I really liked, so I was already excited to hear another one from them… and man, it did not disappoint. Hard-hitting instruments, Hart’s fierce voice, and an overall sense of the various crew members’ skill makes this one hell of a good time.

Number 5: Steve Perry – Traces (Sample: No Erasin’).

Man, was this the biggest surprise release of 2018. I was just chilling out and browsing twitter a bit, and suddenly I just see “Journey’s Steve Perry to release new album in a couple days”, which of course had me reacting like “Fucking what?”. Perry’s been relatively quiet on the musical front since leaving Journey in 1998. Then suddenly 20 years later he releases a new solo album… and it’s great? Talk about one of the most pleasant surprises in recent years. But yeah, if you like a lot of his old Journey stuff, you’ll most likely enjoy “Traces” too.

Number 4: Father John Misty – God’s Favorite Customer (Sample: Hangout at the Gallows). 

“If Radiohead had sex with The Beatles” a youtube comment described this song. It’s not entirely wrong. I can certainly hear a little bit of that in Misty’s sound, though I also think he’s still created something entirely his own within the sort of indie/folk/alt-rock sounds that he clearly resides within. His voice, the instrumentals, and the lyrics all make for one really great album.

Number 3: Joe Satriani – What Happens Next (Sample: Energy).

Rock and motherfucking roll. Coming in with a bronze medal, we have the latest release from acclaimed rock guitarist Joe Satriani. I’ve been a fan of his for years, so I was of course excited for his new album which was an early 2018 release, and I was listening on day 1. And man, it was so badass. Badass solos, slick licks, and and Satriani’s overall sense of how to keep purely instrumental songs fresh and unique makes it one of the best of the year. Plus, the background work by Chad Smith and Glenn Hughes gives it an extra edge too.

Number 2: Judas Priest – Firepower (Sample: Firepower).

Wow, was the inclusion of this quite surprising. Bands that have been working for as long as Judas Priest shouldn’t sound so good so far into their lifetime. And when I first heard the album, I kinda dismissed it as another half-decent, fairly catchy, pretty well done metal album. But since then it’s really grown on me, and I have realized just how good it is. “Firepower” is as old school as metal gets, and I’d say that it might be the band’s best since “Painkiller”, maybe even since “British Steel”. Like, what the fuck, this is way better than it has any right to be. Oh well, I’m not gonna complain about a bit of awesome music.

Number 1: Joe Bonamassa – Redemption (Sample: Redemption).

Anybody who knows me should not be surprised by this. I’ve said so many times on this blog, on twitter, and in real life how much I adore Bonamassa’s music. And with “Redemption” he has once again given us a musically impressive, catchy, and overall solid blues-rock album. His vocals are the best we’ve heard from him, and the guitar work is still absolutely stunning. Bonamassa is one of the most hard working musicians out there, constantly touring and putting out content and just overall kicking musical ass. “Redemption” is my favorite album of 2018.

So those were my favorite albums of 2018. But now I wanna hear from you guys, what have been some of your favorite albums of last year? Either leave a comment or make a blog post of your own as a response to this, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Have a good one.

My most anticipated movies of 2019

Hello and happy new year, guys! I’m back from my… two day break. Okay, I wasn’t gone for long, but I’m excited to be writing again. New year, new opportunities, new movies! And it’s that last one that we’re talking about today, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to you guys, since this blog is mostly built on movie stuff. So since the year just started, I think it’s only appropriate to talk about some movies that I’m excited for this year. Will all of them be amazing? Probably not. But I’m just looking forward to watching them all, and I thought I’d share some of them here with you today. A few stipulations for both of us here.

Number 1: Please be respectful. I’m asking you to have the exact same opinions as me, I’m fine with disagreement. Just don’t be a dick about it. I’m all for friendly discussion, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Just be nice. This is a friendly space, yo.

Number 2: I’m not gonna talk about movies that had limited releases in 2018 that then get worldwide releases in early 2019. This is for those that have their first release in 2019. Understood? Cool.

Number 3: These are not ranked. These are just a bunch of movies I’m looking forward to a fair bit.

That should be it. Let’s get into the movies.

Glass.

First movie on the list is the first one I’ll probably see in the cinema this year… which would be pretty much unlikely a few years ago. A January movie by M. Night Shyamalan? Ew. But this is something I am genuinely excited about. So spoilers for previous Shyamalan movies, I guess. In 2000, he gave us “Unbreakable”, and it was amazing. In 2017, he gave us “Split”, and it was really good. And at the end of “Split”, it was revealed that it was a secret sequel to “Unbreakable”, which blew my fucking mind. And now we get the culmination of those two movies with “Glass”, and I am really hyped.

Avengers: Endgame

Yes, I talk about a lot of superhero movies. And yes, I am aware that a lot of people are either sick of or just don’t care about them. But you can’t deny that what Marvel has done with their cinematic universe is really impressive. And now we get the ending to it… sort of. It’s the sequel to 2018’s “Infinity War”, and it will be the end for a lot of these actors in this universe. It’s kind of bittersweet. Bring on the endgame.

Captain Marvel

Another superhero origin. This one starring Brie Larson. She’s a good actor. This looks pretty good. Has a stellar cast. It’ll be fun.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

I am a fan of the 2014 “Godzilla” movie, so I was already excited for a sequel. Then it was revealed that some classic monsters would be involved in it, which got me even more excited. Then this trailer came out and showcased some gorgeous imagery, and it got me even more hyped. So yeah, this is one of the biggest ones for me this year.

Star Wars Episode IX
It’s “Star Wars”. The end of this new trilogy. It’s “Star Wars”. How could I not be excited? “STAR WARS”.

Spider-Man: Far From Home
I am a huge Spidey-fan, been for most of my life. And this is a sequel to “Spider-Man: Homecoming”, which I liked a lot. Tom Holland is a fantastic Spider-Man. So I’m excited. Plus, Jake Gyllenhaal.

John Wick: Chapter 3

“John Wick” was one of the biggest surprises of 2014. “John Wick: Chapter 2” was a great sequel. And in 2019 we’ll get the third part in this series. The hype for this one is real.

Knives Out
No footage. No on-set images. All we have is a good director, a star-studded cast, and the vague premise of a murder mystery. And that is enough to intrigue me. Let’s go.

In the Shadow of the Moon
Like with “Knives Out”, we know practically nothing about this. But at least “Knives Out” has a vague premise of what it could be… this one on the other hand doesn’t even have that. So how could I be excited? Well, it has several good actors involved, and it’s directed by Jim Mickle, who I’m a big fan of. I’ll be supporting him any way I can.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

What do you get if you take one of the most star-studded casts even assembled and combine it with the mind of Quentin Tarantino? You get “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”. Anything that Tarantino makes, I’m already excited for. But add all those cast members and an interesting setting, and you most likely have my money as well.

Lucy in the Sky
*Starts humming The Beatles*. Oh shit, you’re still here. Right, so what’s this? It’s a sci-fi movie, starring the likes of Natalie Portman, Dan Stevens, Jon Hamm, and Zazie Beets, and it’s written/directed by Noah Hawley, who brought us two of my favorite shows; “Fargo” and “Legion”. That’s all I need. Bring on the weirdness.

The Irishman
Martin Scorsese. Robert De Niro. Joe Pesci. Al Pacino. Bobby Cannavale. Harvey Keitel. Jesse Plemons. Excited yet?

Jojo Rabbit

A World War 2 satire from Taika Waititi? With said Kiwi playing Adolf Hitler? And a good cast surrounding him? Yes please, hell yeah, this is interesting.

So those were a bunch of movies I’m looking forward to. I’m sure more will be revealed throughout the year, but these are my current picks. But I also wanna hear from you guys. What movies are you excited for? Leave any and all answers in the comments!
Have a good one!

Movies I’m looking forward to in 2017

Hi there guys, and welcome to this little post of mine. New year, new movies! I know that we’re a bit over a week into the new year, but I can justify this post by saying that no movies I’m looking forward to have come out yet. So this list still works. Ha!

Rule #1: My list, not yours, so no bitching allowed. We’ve gone through this time and time again, so it should be burnt into your god damn heads by now. Cool? Cool.

Rule #2: This will not be a ranked list of my most anticipated movies of the year. There are so many movies I’m looking forward to this year that it will be impossible for me to rank them. I’m just listing the ones that I’m looking forward to, nothing else.

Rule #3: I am not including any of the movies that were limited in 2016 and got full releases in early 2017. I’m just not going to, including them would be cheating.

I only have one honorable mention for this, and that is “The Dark Tower”. I am a big fan of the book series, and I am cautiously optimistic about the film adaptation set to be released later this year. But we haven’t seen any footage yet, so it’s impossible for me to be genuinely excited about it.

With that out of the way, here are my most anticipated movies of 2017.

Justice League Dark.

Kicking off this list is an upcoming DC animated, direct-to-video feature about Batman (Jason O’Mara) gathering up some mystic/supernatural heroes to stop an overwhelming supernatural threat. These animated movies can be very hit-or-miss for many, but I am always looking forward to them. It’ll be nice seeing the DC animation team tackel the more supernatural side of the DC universe. Also, Matt Ryan came back to voice John Constantine… and that makes me all kinds of happy.

Logan.

Here we have possibly my most anticipated movie of the year. The trailer is great, and we already know that Hugh Jackman is fantastic as Wolverine. And James Mangold has proven himself as a very capable director, so I am sure that this will be a great film. I just know that I will cry in the cinema when I go see this. If not for a well made/sad scene, then at least because I know that this will be the last time I’ll see Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart in their iconic “X-Men” roles.

War for the Planet of the Apes.

I am a big fan of the last two “Planet of the Apes” movies, I thought they both brought a lot to the franchise. “Rise” was great, and then “Dawn” came out and turned out to be even better. Matt Reeves did such a fantastic job with that movie that I have no real worries for this new one.

Justice League.

The DCEU hasn’t faired the best in terms of critical reception. As for my opinions: I thought “Man of Steel” was really good, I thought “Batman v Superman” was okay, and I haven’t seen “Suicide Squad” yet. Now, despite the mixed reception of these movies, I am still looking forward to this movie. I am a little bit reserved, but it still seems like it could be a somewhat entertaining action movie. Plus, you can’t deny the excitement of seeing all these characters come together on the big screen for the first time.

John Wick: Chapter 2.

The first “John Wick” was such a big surprise. It was a fantastic action movie that just came out of fucking nowhere. It also featured the best performance we’ve ever seen from Keanu Reeves. So I am super excited for the sequel, which we’re not gonna have to wait too long for. Also, I am really excited about seeing Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne reuniting… I just love “The Matrix”, okay.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

The first “Guardians of the Galaxy” was a pretty big surprise in terms of both quality and profits. Not only did it make a shit-ton of money, but it also became my favorite MCU movie. It had everything I needed: Action, humor, interesting characters… space. So I am of course incredibly excited about this sequel which looks prettty great.

Baby Driver.
This movie has no trailer yet, but I am still very excited about it. Why? Firstly, the cast is pretty great. And secondly, it’s written and directed by Edgar Wright. Yeah, this is some exciting stuff.

Star Wars Episode 8.
dd2136507ee67d7a5e6494796e514f1b73f89d4ed7f861ffd5f1d4fe04d78a27

No title, no trailer, no nothin’. But it’s motherfucking “Star Wars”, so of course I’m excited. “Star Wars”!

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Spidey’s (Tom Holland) appearance in “Captain America: Civil War” was one of my favorite things in any movie of 2016. Which of course made interested in seeing this version of the character in his own movie. Then a whole bunch of months later the first trailer for “Spider-Man: Homecoming” drops and yeah, I’m on board. If anything, it looks fun. And Michael Keaton seems like he will make a pretty intimidating Vulture. Yeah, this is pretty exciting.

Wonder Woman.

Another DCEU movie coming to us this year, and it looks really interesting. Even though the character of Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) felt very shoehorned into “Batman v Superman”, she was very entertaining (her entrance into the final battle being a standout moment). So I am interested to see what she’ll do in ehr very own movie, set during World War 1, and getting acquainted with the only Chris that Marvel hadn’t already snagged yet. I’m at least hoping for some badass action scenes featuring this badass woman.

Kong: Skull Island.

I am a fan of monster movies. I am also one of the few people that legitimately liked 2014’s “Godzilla”. So I was already excited for another “King Kong” movie. Then this trailer came out and it was pretty cool. Also, Tom Hiddleston looks a lot like Leon Kennedy from “Resident Evil 4” in this trailer. Long story short, I want to see a giant gorilla wreck some shit!

The Fate of the Furious.

Wait, this stupid franchise actually became good!? Yeah, it kind of did. “Fast Five” was great, “Fast & Furious 6” was good, and “Furious 7” was really good. Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are. From “Point Break” with cars to really big, loud, and stupid action fests that actually entertained me and also somehow gave a touching send-off to one of it’s primary castmates… Yeah, this franchise is full of surprises. And this movie looks just as stupid and fun as the last few.

Alien: Covenant.

I love “Alien”. I think I love “Aliens”. Three and four we don’t talk about. We also don’t talk about the “AvP” movies. And I liked “Prometheus”. And this movie looks like it can get tesne and scary… like “Alien”. There’s not much else to say… I’m excited.

Resident Evil: Vendetta.

No, not the stupid fucking live action bullshit. This is the third part in the animated “Resident Evil” movie franchise. I actually reviewed the previous two movies if you wanna know my thoughts on them, you just have to search “Resident Evil” to find them (#ShamelessPlug). But long story short, they are enjoyable and I am really excited for this third installment which looks stupid and really fun.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle.
The first “Kingsman” was a giant surprise. It was a January movie that actually turned out to be great… yeah, who would have thought. It was a terrific action movie that also kind of parodied the spy genre without actually mocking it. And with the director and star of that movie returning for the sequel… yeah, I am really excited.

Mute.
c1f6iucuqaarkwn

“What?”, I hear you asking. “Mute” is an upcoming Netflix original science fiction movie directed by Duncan Jones. You know, the very talented director that made “Moon”, “Source Code”, and “Warcraft” who also happens to be the son of David Bowie. The movie will star Alexander Skarsgård, Paul Rudd (pictured above with a glorious mustache), and Justin Theroux. I am a big fan of Jones’ previous movies, so this is a no-brainer for me to put on this list. Also, my love for science fiction is a factor in my excitement. Duncan Jones has stated that this is set in the same universe/timeline as “Moon”, so I am interested in seeing how the two movies tie together.

The Shape of Water.
cp7rintw8ay2mc1

This, my friends, is an upcoming fantasy movie by Guillermo Del Toro… and that’s really all I need. I am always excited about new Guillermo Del Toro movies. Sure, “Crimson Peak” wasn’t the best, but it was still not bad. I’ve enjoyed every Del Toro movie I’ve seen, so I am excited for this movie, especially since it has such a great cast.

Blade Runner 2049.

I was incredibly skeptical about this movie for the longest time. Sure, it had a terrific cast and a fantastic director, but a sequel to “Blade Runner”, released over 30 years later? Come on… no. Then this trailer came out and I am on board. It shows just hte right amount of stuff. It sets up the tone, it sets up some mystery and intrigue… it’s perfect. Yeah, I’m on board.

The Commuter.
The only reason why this is on the list is because it’s another action-thriller from director Jaume Collet-Serra and actor Liam Neeson. That’s it. I am a fan of their previous three movies, so I am just excited for this. I don’t expect a mindblowing thriller, just an entertaining action-thriller.

Dunkirk.

It’s a war movie directed by Christopher Nolan… how the fuck could you not be excited?

So those were a whole bunch of movies I’m excited for this year. What are you guys excited for? Leave any and all answers in the comments!
Have a good one!

Some Scary Characters

scary-characters

With it being Halloween, AKA the end of the Month of Spooks, I felt that I had to something special for the blog. Sure, I could’ve done a review of John Carpenter’s “Halloween”, but that would have been a bit of a cliché move on my part. So I started thinking… how about a list? I mean, I haven’t done a list in a while, so now is a good a time as any. Some of you might be asking “BUT MARKUUUUUS… Why not make it a list about your favorite horror movies?”. Honestly… I feel like I haven’t seen enough horror movies to really be able to make a list like that any feel good about it. So instead I opted to do something that I’ve been thinking a little bit about for a while… how about a list of characters/creatures from fiction that I find scary? And then I decided to actually do it. So let’s do it… after the rules.

Rule #1: This is my list, so no bitching allowed. These are things I find scary in some way. If you don’t find any of these scary… then that’s your thing. These are just my opinions in here, not what I think everyone should think. So no bitching… got it!?

Rule #2: This list is not really ranked, so don’t take it as me thinking one of the things on this list is scarier than the other… they all creep me out in some way, so I will not really rank ’em. I also don’t rank them because I might make another list like this in the future with even more shit that scares me.

Rule #3: I will only include one thing from each intellectual property. So if a piece of fiction mentioned in this thing has more than one scary creature, I will only mention one of them.

So that’s about it for the rules. And while bitching isn’t allowed here, I do encourage discussion. Maybe share some characters you think are scary in the comments. With that said, let’s get into it.
Ladies and gentlemen… Some Scary Characters.

Freddy Krueger – Nightmare on Elm Street
714753c1cadceb43134a30ef0c4ac65b

Let’s get one of the most popular ones out of the way first. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) was a child killer who got burned alive by a mob of angry parents, and now he kills people in their dreams. Firstly, child killer… that shit is just awful and terrifying. Secondly, he kills you when you’re sleeping, he’ll make sure you’ll never wake. Sadistic christmas songs aside, the fact that he kills you in your dreams, where anything can happen, that is a very creative and scary thing. And Freddy is a very scary character… at least in the original movie, in the sequels he became more of a joke. But a lot of why he was so great was because of Robert Englund’s pitch-perfect performance, he was a perfect choice for Freddy. And to give credit where credit is due, even though the remake was really bad, I thought the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy was a really good one. What am I trying to say with all this? Freddy is an awesome and scary villain.

Frank – Donnie Darko
frank-the-rabbit-unplated-mask-e1411415687564

Next up is the creepy fucking giant man-bun from the 2001 mindfucker “Donnie Darko”. Basic plot is that Donnie (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a really weird teenager and he starts seeing a giant bunny named Frank that makes Donnie do some shady shit. Let’s put it like this, the movie is awesome and you should see it if you haven’t. And now we get to Frank, a fucking weird giant bunny (or rabbit) that has a scary design and a creepy voice. Yeah that’s about it… that’s why I think he’s scary.

Ruvik – The Evil Within
tumblr_static_efpqofu7xh4w8084skcs4gg88_640_v2

Hey look, it’s Jackie Earle Haley again! From critically acclaimed video game director Shinji Mikami comes “The Evil Within”, a survival horror game where you as Detective Sebastian Castellanos (Anson Mount) investigates a gruesome mass murder and then gets dragged into some mind-bending bullshit. As you go through the game you encounter various creepy and disgusting creatues. But none of them had as much of an effect as Ruvik. And my comment earlier about it being Jackie Earle Haley was serious, he really voiced the character. So why did I pick Ruvik to put on this list? Well, he is basically the main reason as to why the plot happens. And honestly, that’s not exactly why I chose him for this list. Mild spoilers coming for the game. In chapter 9 (titled “The Cruelest Intentions”) you enter a creepy mansion. In front of you there is a big and weird door that you need to get open. If you look closely you will see that there are cables going from the door to various doors in the foyer. So of course you follow these cables into the rooms. Now the scary stuff comes. As you enter any of these rooms (timing varies), Ruvik will appear. First instinct, shoot the fucker… doesn’t work. He walks towards you, and if he cathes you he will kill you. All you can do is run away from him (always keep your eyes on him), until he disappears after about 30 seconds. And that’s the scary thing, an unstoppable thing that just walks after you. I find that scary. Seriously, whenever I get to that part of the game I lock up because I don’t want Ruvik to appear. But sometimes you have to bite the bullet to progress. And he will appear 3 times throughout… which is terrifying. So yeah… that’s why Ruvik is on the list. And on a quick sidenote: If you want a pretty cool game to play, I do recommend “The Evil Within”.

The Thing – The Thing
125088f8d936ca0626911539f45471f6594294ae

The titular thing from John Carpenter’s sci-fi/horror masterpiece is fucking terrifying. It’s also one of the most clever plot devices ever. The creature can take the shape of anyone, so there’s constant mistrust and tension between the characters, which makes for a very suspenseful and awesome movie. But when the creature decides to finally show itself as a monstrous being, it is disgusting and creepy and Rob Bottin’s effects are some of the best ever put to film. I don’t think I need to say much here since it’s such a well known and beloved film.

John Doe – Se7en
d435396edbc6e14a06064ad7bd42b63e

Okay, I’m not even gonna show a picture of this one in case someone reading this haven’t seen “Se7en” yet… which you should, damn it. David Fincher’s “Se7en” is honestly one of my personal favorites… definitely one of my top ten. For those that don’t know, detectives Mills (Brad Pitt) and Somerset (Morgan Freeman) investigates a series of gruesome murders that all seem to be related to the seven deadly sins in some way. And the reasons as to why I picked John Doe for this list is because he is a highly skilled killer who works in secret, and isn’t even seen until the last third of the movie. The stuff he does to his victims… horrifying. And when you do see him later on, he’s still scary, with a calm and menacing demeanor and a perfectly calculated plan. Really, a killer who’s got every step of his plan worked out is just scary to me, especially when their plans involve some truly horrifying and awful stuff.

Dementors – Harry Potter
fc56fff43a1727932f142616fbc404dd-660x374

The Dementors are something I talked about fairly recently in my review of “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” (#ShamelessPlug). They are dark creatures with a scary design and with no real sympathy for anyone or anything. Seeing one in the movie? Scary. Being chased by one in the video game while trying to solve a puzzle… fucking terrifying. Really, these things are just horrible. I’m just gonna leave you with a quote from the “Prisoner of Azkaban” novel. “Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself — soul-less and evil. You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”

Regenerator – Resident Evil 4
regenerator-resident-evil-4-grab

I know, the graphics on that thing don’t look too scary from where you’re sitting right now… but trust me, these fuckers are the stuff of nightmares! Agent Leon Kennedy (Paul Mercier) gets sent to Spain to find the President’s kidnapped daughter. While there he encounters some dark and disturbing stuff. At first, “Resident Evil 4” only feels like a very tense action-thriller, at least for me. I understand if someone might find most of it scary, but I didn’t exactly feel those spooks myself. Then we get a part pretty late in the game. You walk around some strange lab underground, and what do you find there? Infected people… and motherfucking Regenerators. These things… god. When you first encounter them, you think that it’s just as simple as shooting them… like pretty much all other enemies… but that is not the case here. Sure, you can blow off it’s limbs, but that shit will just grow back (hence the name). The only ways you can kill them is with either the help of a special scope you find later, or with a rocket launcher (very rare and kind of expensive). So all you can do really is run. Maybe blow off the legs to slow them down, but you can’t beat them. And the sounds they make, good fucking grief. It’s a weird breathing noise that scares me every time I hear it. And if a Regenerator gets hold of you, it will take away your health faster than you can say “Oklahoma”. Another thing about them is that there are two versions of them; the “normal” one (not normal in the eyes of me or god or anyone), and the “Iron Maiden” version. And no, that version doesn’t have excellent taste in music… that version has huge spikes coming out of it to stab the ever-living shit out of you. I hate these guys… they are terrifying. Sidenote: “Resident Evil 4” is an amazing game, go play it.

Xenomorph – Alien
rhud9vrejaob4jkgiyltnpiylbe

This is the final one that I will put on the list. Can’t be here too long with the listing. But I think you all can agree that the Xenomorph from Ridley Scott’s “Alien” is really scary. A big, phallic, alien that sneaks on board a ship and then proceeds to stalk the crew and kill everyone… seriously, that is scary. The design of it (done by the brilliant H.R. Giger) is like something you’d see in your nightmares. And many people agree that it is horrifying, evidenced by it’s long-running popularity. From the OG movies, to the “AvP” bullshit, to the critically acclaimed game “Alien: Isolation”. This thing has gotten stuck in people’s minds, and I don’t think it will get out anytime soon.

So what do you think? Do you find any of these scary? And what are some scary characters/creatures that you get spooked by that I didn’t include? Seriously, I’d really love to hear from you guys!
Have a good one and Happy fuckin’ Halloween!