Movie Review: Furious 7 (2015)


As some of you might remember, I reviewed every single “Fast & Furious” movie back in May of this year because of the at that point recent release of this damn movie. And from that it’s taken me more than 6 months to get around to it. But at long last, we are here. So let’s stop with this shit and get with it.

Ladies and gentlemen… “Furious 7”.

Ready for some more stupidity? *Smack* Ouch, okay I’ll do it right! The story of this movie is that Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), the brother of the the last movie’s villain, is coming after the gang to get revenge for his brother. So it’s up to Dom (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker, R.I.P) and all the other guys we know and love to try and stop him. Now that is the main plot we are supposed to care about, but at the same time we get a secondary plot of the gang helping a governmental orgainzation led by Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) with finding a device that could locate any person on planet earth. And it is all very convoluted and guys, this is what the problem was with “Fast & Furious 6”. Don’t get me wrong, I think the plot of this movie is more well handled than in the last movie, but it’s still a bit convoluted and that takes away a bit from the enjoyment of the movie. I mean, it’s fine I guess.

The characters are just as enjoyable as last time and their performances have neither imporved nor gotten worse. So let’s discuss some of the newer ones… like Jason Statham as Deckard Shaw. I would say that putting Jason Statham as the main villain of your movie is a damn good idea, it is one I highly approve of. And while Statham’s performance was really good and menacing, I still felt like the character was underutilized and that he was only there to mess things up a little for our heroes. Then we have Kurt Russell as the mysterious Mr. Nobody and he was awesome. Come on, it’s Kurt fuckin’ Russell! Sure, he wasn’t in teh movie too much, but he was still great… He’s Kurt Russell! One thing I feel kind of split about is the character of Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Don’t get me wrong, I think he might be the best thing that ever happened to this franchise, but he is used so little in this movie that it’s a bit disappointing. Sure, whenever he is on screen we get some of the best parts of the movie, but they are so few and far between that I almost feel betrayed.

The score for “Furious 7” was composed by Brian Tyler and as you may know, I’m a big fan of that guy. And as per usual, he delivered a great original score for the movie. It is big, bombastic, tense and surprisingly emotional. I would really dare say that this is one of the best scores I have ever heard from Tyler. With that said, does the rest of the soundtrack work for the movie? Yes… yes it does. They managed to fit songs perfectly into the scenes they were used in. And with that said, I feel like i should maybe touch on the song “See you Again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. The song was created as a tribute to the late Paul Walker and his character Brian who would most likely get retired after this movie. And I have to say that the song worked, it is a fitting send-off for Walker and his character. I can also say that I think it is a good song, maybe even worthy of an Oscar nomination…

This is the first “F&F” movie since “Tokyo Drift” that have had a new director take over. So now instead of Justin Lin directing it, we have James Wan who is more known for horror movies than for action. But I have to say that I think he did a good job directing this movie. Sure, the hand-to-hand combat sequences were not that great because of a higher framerate and for a little bit of shaky-cam in them, so they are not impressive at all. However, when there is over-the-top vehicular mayhem in the movie, Wan really did a fantastic job! It’s silly, stupid, ridiculous, absolutely bonkers and pretty fucking fun. Really, instead of Vengeance Hits Home, the tagline for the movie should’ve been Physics Be Damned. 

This movie has been pretty well received. On Rotten Tomatoes it has an 81% positive rating and a “Fresh” certification. On Metacritic it has a score of 67/100. And on it has a score of 7,3/10.

While bogged down a bit by a convoluted plot and underutilization of certain characters, “Furious 7” is still one of the best entries in the franchise. With fun characters, a really great soundtrack, really good directing and a fitting send-off for Paul Walker, it’s definitely still a fun movie. Time for my final score. *Cough*. My final score for “Furious 7” is an 8,95/10. It’s definitely worth buying.
Worth buying

My review of “Furious 7” is finally completed.

*Looks out window*. Is that Jeff parachuting a car?

Movie Review: Fast Five (2011)


Jesus tapdancing Christ, we are already at number 5 in the series. So let’s cut the crap and get straight into the review, shall we?

Dudes and chicks… “Fast Five”.

So once again Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker, R.I.P) return to cause more vehicular mayhem. But this time it is to pull the heist of a lifetime so they can buy their freedom. But they can’t do this alone! They hire a team of people who are experts in their respective fields. And this team consists of previous cast members Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson, oh fuck no), Tej (Ludacris), Han (Sung Kang), Gisele (Gal Gadot), Leo (Tego Calderon) and Santos (Don Omar). But at the same time they have to worry about taking down a druglord AND staying clear of federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Before giving a verdict… how did we go from ripping off “Point Break” to ripping off “Ocean’s Eleven”? Anyway, the plot in this movie while slightly more layered than what is good for the franchise, I love the plot to the movie. While it has a few layers, it is well done and surprisingly simple. Since this movie doesn’t take itself that seriously and instead embracing the ridiculous aspects of the franchise it really helps. It knows it is stupid and it wears it like a badge… kind of like 1996’s “The Rock”.

The characters in this movie are great. They are all fun and get a good amount of space, while not feeling over/underused. Vin Diesel is still really good (if you can call it that) as Dom Toretto. And in this one Paul Walker has not really improved since the last time, but that’s not a bad thing seeing that he was pretty good in “Fast & Furious”. All other characters are great too. AND TYRESE GIBSON WASN’T ANNOYING IN THIS ONE! And of course… Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he is as awesome as he is in everything. I swear, you could put that guy in a movie where he is in just one room, reading the dictionary and he’d be great. And to be fair, everyone was really good in the movie.

The hip-hop music is back, fitting perfectly in how it is used. They also added a little latino pop, in lack of a better word for it. And for the third (and so far best) time Brian Tyler. And as per usual the score was great. It was intense, it was action-y and it was overall great.

This is Justin Lin’s third time directing an “F&F” movie and it is definitely the most well-directed of the three. It is smooth, it is visually great and HOLY SHIT, THE ACTION IS AWESOME! It is fast, furious, intense and badass as hell! Not just the driving scenes which are by far the best in the franchise so far, but all other action scenes too. The fights, the shootouts, the chases… they are all great. Especially if you are able to suspend your disbelief. Because this movie is so badass that it chooses to ignore the laws of physics. So you science nerds should probably not watch this movie. Thank god then that I love over-the-top stuff like this!

Looking at all major review sites, this is the most well-received of the movies so far. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 78% positive rating with a “Fresh” certification. On Metacritic it has a score of 67/100. Roger Ebert liked this one and gave it 3/4 stars. And on it has a score of 7,3/10.

“Fast Five” is big, loud and dumb and it wears it like a badge. With fun characters, a decent story, great music and some awesomely ridiculous action, it is a good movie. Time for my final score. *Vroom vroom* My final score for “Fast Five” is a 9,64/10. It of course gets the “SEAL OF APPROVAL!”
Seal of Approval

“Fast Five” is now reviewed.

Kind of sounds like a high-speed handjob…

Movie Review: Inglourious Basterds (2009)


Let’s face it…Quentin Tarantino is the king of odd movies. “Pulp Fiction”, “Kill Bill”, “Django Unchained” to mention a few. But the thing is, these odd movies are for the most part good. I know I said I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Kill Bill vol. 1″, but in general I am a Tarantino fan. His odd movies are interesting. And back in 2009 he made a little WW2 movie (as if there weren’t enough of those). Now, is it good? Is it bad? Will this guy here like it? I mean it is a bit weird to see a Tarantino movie that doesn’t even have Samuel L. Jackson in it.

Ladies and Gents…”Inglourious Basterds”.

Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent) experienced a not too fun thing. One day when she was hiding under the floorboards of a man’s house to hide from Nazi’s…she and her family who hid were found. And who found them exactly? SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). He and his men shot up the place, killing almost everyone. Shosanna managed to get away. Several years later she owns a cinema called “Le Gamaar Cinema”. She meets nazi soldier Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Brühl) and kind of strikes up an awkward relationship/friendship with him. Later when she finds out his new movie will play at her cinema and several high ranked nazi officers will be there she plots to get revenge.
But that is not all, there is a second story getting intertwined in it all. And that is the story of the American-Jewish group “The Basterds”. They are led by lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). They are in the Nazi occupied france to kill every nazi they see. Among the troops we have Sergeant Donny “The Bear Jew” Donowitz (Eli Roth) who’s main way of dispatching Nazis is by caving their heads in with a baseball bat…ouch. Then we have Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz (Til Schweiger) who is mainly a big brute. And finally we have pfc. (private, first class) Smithson Utivitch (B.J. Novak) who is just another basterd. Of course there are more members of the team, but they are not really as majorly important to the movie as these guys. Anyway, they also meet up with british lieutenant Archie Hicox (Michael Fassbender) for a special plan…Now I am not going to say more? Because like any Tarantino movie, this is over-the-fucking-top. And that is pretty good. Still, this is a relatively straight forward and regularly paced movie. You can even notice a bit of it in “Django Unchained” how he have changed his still a little bit since we first saw him. And to be completely honest, that is probably for the better. Trust me. But still, really good story once you watch it and don’t sit here and listen to me.

The characters are fucking awesome. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise considering…again, this is a Tarantino movie. And in those types of movies, awesome characters are very common. They are all incredibly unique and just in general very entertaining to watch. There is nothing more to it really. I am very pleased with the choice of actors as well, they are PERFECTLY picked for their respective characters. I especially love the character of Hans Landa. Sometimes he can be the nicest and most polite person ever and then the next minute be as cruel as the devil himself. No wonder Christoph Waltz got an Oscar for the role.

The music…so good. There are a few orchestral pieces here and there but also include songs that use electric guitar. I really don’t have much to say…only that if I could meet the composer, I would kiss him/her on the forehead and then go down on my kness and yell “I’M NOT WORTHY, I’M NOT WORTHY!”.

General stuff there is nothing more than the obvious stuff like how this movie is violent and very bloody. But that is not much of a surprise considering this is a…you get it.

Reception for “Inglourious Basterds” was good. Rotten Tomatoes holds an 89% positive rating and a “Fresh” certification. Metacritic got a 69/100 on it. Roger Ebert gave this movie 4/4 stars and said this:

“Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds is a big, bold, audacious war movie that will annoy some, startle others and demonstrate once again that he’s the real thing, a director of quixotic delights. has the score of 8,9/10 and has it ranked #100 on their Top 250 list.
The movie was also nominated for eight Oscars, but only won one…Best Supporting Actor – Christoph Waltz.

I have praised this movie and told you a bunch of shit in this review and can finally give you a score. Score for “Inglourious Basterds” is a 9,62/10 and of course…the “SEAL OF APPROVAL!” This is one hell of a movie and I recommend you buy it.

Review of “Inglourious Basterds” is done.

Where is Samuel L. Jackson, Tarantino? Where are you hiding him!?