Movie Review: Furious 7 (2015)


As some of you might remember, I reviewed every single “Fast & Furious” movie back in May of this year because of the at that point recent release of this damn movie. And from that it’s taken me more than 6 months to get around to it. But at long last, we are here. So let’s stop with this shit and get with it.

Ladies and gentlemen… “Furious 7”.

Ready for some more stupidity? *Smack* Ouch, okay I’ll do it right! The story of this movie is that Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), the brother of the the last movie’s villain, is coming after the gang to get revenge for his brother. So it’s up to Dom (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker, R.I.P) and all the other guys we know and love to try and stop him. Now that is the main plot we are supposed to care about, but at the same time we get a secondary plot of the gang helping a governmental orgainzation led by Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) with finding a device that could locate any person on planet earth. And it is all very convoluted and guys, this is what the problem was with “Fast & Furious 6”. Don’t get me wrong, I think the plot of this movie is more well handled than in the last movie, but it’s still a bit convoluted and that takes away a bit from the enjoyment of the movie. I mean, it’s fine I guess.

The characters are just as enjoyable as last time and their performances have neither imporved nor gotten worse. So let’s discuss some of the newer ones… like Jason Statham as Deckard Shaw. I would say that putting Jason Statham as the main villain of your movie is a damn good idea, it is one I highly approve of. And while Statham’s performance was really good and menacing, I still felt like the character was underutilized and that he was only there to mess things up a little for our heroes. Then we have Kurt Russell as the mysterious Mr. Nobody and he was awesome. Come on, it’s Kurt fuckin’ Russell! Sure, he wasn’t in teh movie too much, but he was still great… He’s Kurt Russell! One thing I feel kind of split about is the character of Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Don’t get me wrong, I think he might be the best thing that ever happened to this franchise, but he is used so little in this movie that it’s a bit disappointing. Sure, whenever he is on screen we get some of the best parts of the movie, but they are so few and far between that I almost feel betrayed.

The score for “Furious 7” was composed by Brian Tyler and as you may know, I’m a big fan of that guy. And as per usual, he delivered a great original score for the movie. It is big, bombastic, tense and surprisingly emotional. I would really dare say that this is one of the best scores I have ever heard from Tyler. With that said, does the rest of the soundtrack work for the movie? Yes… yes it does. They managed to fit songs perfectly into the scenes they were used in. And with that said, I feel like i should maybe touch on the song “See you Again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. The song was created as a tribute to the late Paul Walker and his character Brian who would most likely get retired after this movie. And I have to say that the song worked, it is a fitting send-off for Walker and his character. I can also say that I think it is a good song, maybe even worthy of an Oscar nomination…

This is the first “F&F” movie since “Tokyo Drift” that have had a new director take over. So now instead of Justin Lin directing it, we have James Wan who is more known for horror movies than for action. But I have to say that I think he did a good job directing this movie. Sure, the hand-to-hand combat sequences were not that great because of a higher framerate and for a little bit of shaky-cam in them, so they are not impressive at all. However, when there is over-the-top vehicular mayhem in the movie, Wan really did a fantastic job! It’s silly, stupid, ridiculous, absolutely bonkers and pretty fucking fun. Really, instead of Vengeance Hits Home, the tagline for the movie should’ve been Physics Be Damned. 

This movie has been pretty well received. On Rotten Tomatoes it has an 81% positive rating and a “Fresh” certification. On Metacritic it has a score of 67/100. And on it has a score of 7,3/10.

While bogged down a bit by a convoluted plot and underutilization of certain characters, “Furious 7” is still one of the best entries in the franchise. With fun characters, a really great soundtrack, really good directing and a fitting send-off for Paul Walker, it’s definitely still a fun movie. Time for my final score. *Cough*. My final score for “Furious 7” is an 8,95/10. It’s definitely worth buying.
Worth buying

My review of “Furious 7” is finally completed.

*Looks out window*. Is that Jeff parachuting a car?

Movie Review: Fast & Furious 6 (2013)


At last, my friends… we are here. The last part of my series of “Fast & Furious” reviews. Of course I will review “Furious 7” at some point… but that’s not now. No, now we review the 6th one which seemed like it would be the final one (yeah right). So now it is time to wrap up this series of reviews with…


In this movie we have Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) asking the gang to help him take out dangerous mercenary Owen Shaw (Luke Evans). So once again Dom (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker, R.I.P), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Han (Sung Kang) and Gisele (Gal Gadot) has to team up and cause some major mayhem! But we also get this really odd and almost out of place sidestory how (Spoilers for “Fast & Furious” (2009) if you have not seen it) Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) actually survived that crash, lost her memory and got recruited by Shaw. Again, it felt really out of place and I don’t get why it exists. It just makes the entire plot really convoluted and kind of over it’s own head. This is something that I felt dragged the movie down a bit for me, a convoluted plot. The plot sin’t bad per se, it’s just (like I said) dragged down by those twisty little parts.

The characters are as great as ever. Vin Diesel growls like always. Paul Walker was really good in the movie too. I feel like he finally managed to give a performance that was above “Good” but below “Great”. Tyrese Gibson was funny and not annoying (unlike in “2 Fast 2 Stupid Title”). Sung Kang was great, I really liked him since he showed up in “Tokyo Drift”. Gal Gadot was also really good. Ludacris was pretty entertaining too. Riddle me this one though, boyh in “Fast Five” and this one his character is a bit of a tech wiz… yet that theme never popped up in “2 Fast 2 Stupid Title”. What the hell happened screenwriters? Fuck it! And of course… Dwayne Johnson as Luke Hobbs… fucking awesome! I mean, it’s Dwayne Johnson… nothing more needs to be said. I also did like Luke Evans as Owen Shaw, he was a pretty good villain. I did overall enjoy all characters.

The score was apparently NOT done by Brian Tyler which is weird because he made the music for the previous three movies and apparently he made the score for “Furious 7”, so why wasn’t he involved with this? Apparently it was done by a bunch of different musicians. And yes, it did fit really well. NEXT!

Remember the laws of physics? Yeah well you can say goodbye to them in this movie. They basically nowhere to be found. With that said, the action in this movie is pretty fucking great. The c-q-c (Close quarters combat) was pretty well done. The driving parts were also pretty spectacular. At this point they have nailed everything they need to nail when it comes to being an action movie about Fast cars and Furious Vin Diesel.

This movie, while pretty well-received, was not as well-received as the previous installment “Fast Five”. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 69% positive rating. On Metacritic it has a score of 61/100. And on it has a score of 7,2/10.

“Fast & Furious 6” is a fast-paced, badass action movie with a few good performances, some pretty good music and awesome action. However, it is brought down by a convoluted plot with a bunch of out of place twists. Time for my final score. *Window breaks* What the hell, Jeff!? What happened? You flew out of a car? And you’re alright? Well, shit. Envelope? Thank you, now go away! My final score for “Fast & Furious 6” is an 8,40/10. Even though the plot drags it down a bit, it is still worth a rental.
Rent it

“Fast & Furious 6” reviewed.

Plan B? We need a plan C, D, E. We need more alphabet!

Movie Review: Fast Five (2011)


Jesus tapdancing Christ, we are already at number 5 in the series. So let’s cut the crap and get straight into the review, shall we?

Dudes and chicks… “Fast Five”.

So once again Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker, R.I.P) return to cause more vehicular mayhem. But this time it is to pull the heist of a lifetime so they can buy their freedom. But they can’t do this alone! They hire a team of people who are experts in their respective fields. And this team consists of previous cast members Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson, oh fuck no), Tej (Ludacris), Han (Sung Kang), Gisele (Gal Gadot), Leo (Tego Calderon) and Santos (Don Omar). But at the same time they have to worry about taking down a druglord AND staying clear of federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Before giving a verdict… how did we go from ripping off “Point Break” to ripping off “Ocean’s Eleven”? Anyway, the plot in this movie while slightly more layered than what is good for the franchise, I love the plot to the movie. While it has a few layers, it is well done and surprisingly simple. Since this movie doesn’t take itself that seriously and instead embracing the ridiculous aspects of the franchise it really helps. It knows it is stupid and it wears it like a badge… kind of like 1996’s “The Rock”.

The characters in this movie are great. They are all fun and get a good amount of space, while not feeling over/underused. Vin Diesel is still really good (if you can call it that) as Dom Toretto. And in this one Paul Walker has not really improved since the last time, but that’s not a bad thing seeing that he was pretty good in “Fast & Furious”. All other characters are great too. AND TYRESE GIBSON WASN’T ANNOYING IN THIS ONE! And of course… Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he is as awesome as he is in everything. I swear, you could put that guy in a movie where he is in just one room, reading the dictionary and he’d be great. And to be fair, everyone was really good in the movie.

The hip-hop music is back, fitting perfectly in how it is used. They also added a little latino pop, in lack of a better word for it. And for the third (and so far best) time Brian Tyler. And as per usual the score was great. It was intense, it was action-y and it was overall great.

This is Justin Lin’s third time directing an “F&F” movie and it is definitely the most well-directed of the three. It is smooth, it is visually great and HOLY SHIT, THE ACTION IS AWESOME! It is fast, furious, intense and badass as hell! Not just the driving scenes which are by far the best in the franchise so far, but all other action scenes too. The fights, the shootouts, the chases… they are all great. Especially if you are able to suspend your disbelief. Because this movie is so badass that it chooses to ignore the laws of physics. So you science nerds should probably not watch this movie. Thank god then that I love over-the-top stuff like this!

Looking at all major review sites, this is the most well-received of the movies so far. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 78% positive rating with a “Fresh” certification. On Metacritic it has a score of 67/100. Roger Ebert liked this one and gave it 3/4 stars. And on it has a score of 7,3/10.

“Fast Five” is big, loud and dumb and it wears it like a badge. With fun characters, a decent story, great music and some awesomely ridiculous action, it is a good movie. Time for my final score. *Vroom vroom* My final score for “Fast Five” is a 9,64/10. It of course gets the “SEAL OF APPROVAL!”
Seal of Approval

“Fast Five” is now reviewed.

Kind of sounds like a high-speed handjob…

Movie Review: Fast & Furious (2009)


My month of “Fast and the Furious” is moving along pretty fast (and furious). So now it is time to review the fourth movie in the series!

Ladies and gentlemen… “Fast & Furious”!

So in this movie we see the return of Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) who has to team up with FBI agent Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker, R.I.P) to take down a drug importer by infiltrating his organization. If this sounds familiar then you’d be right, this is the same plot as in “2 Fast 2 Stupid Title”. Only difference this time is that Brian works for the FBI and instead of annoying Tyrese Gibson we get Vin Diesel. I also feel like the story was handled slightly better in this movie than in “2 Fast 2 Stupid Title”. The biggest negative though comes from the fact this movie takes itself so seriously at times. The previous movie at least knew that they were stupid as shit and fun. This one tries to be serious while also being a movie featuring Fast cars and Furious Vin Diesel. But like I said, I did enjoy the plot slightly more here than in that other one I mentioned before.

The characters, while taking themselves too seriously sometimes, are good. Vin Diesel is being Vin Diesel in this movie and that is something I enjoy. And Paul Walker got slightly better since last we saw him. His performance has slightly improved and that makes me happy. The other actors in the movie are pretty good too. Everybody are pretty good overall.

The music was once again filled with a lot of hip-hop tracks with a few Limp Bizkit styled songs. And they managed to fit them in perfectly this time. One of the problems I had with the music of the original movie was that it felt like they only threw the music in and gave no thought to when and where to use what tracks. And for every movie they have gotten slightly better at it. And in this one they nailed it. We also get another original score by Brian Tyler! And as per usual it is great. Just as cool and well put together as his score in “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift”. Would I say it’s his best score? No, but I think it is really good.

The action in this movie is great! Wnat proof? Watch the first five minutes of this movie and say that the little heist(ish) scene in the beginning isn’t badass and awesome! That scene is exciting and really well filmed. And so are the rest of the action scenes in this movie. Justin Lin really seems to know how to direct good action. Again, the cars are Fast and the Vin Diesel is Furious. And I like that!

So how was this movie received? What did people think? Meh. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 28% positive rating. On Metacritic it has a score of 45/100. Roger Ebert wasn’t overly positive to it and gave it 1,5/4 stars. And on it has a score of 6,6/10 (Sidenote: The same score as the first movie in the series).

“Fast & Furious” is a movie that takes the plot of a previous movie in the franchise but does it slightly better, has enjoyable characters with decent performances, a really good score by Brian Tyler and terrific action. But it is also brought down by it trying to take itself so seriously. Time for my final score. *Deep breath* My final score for “Fast & Furious” is an 8,59/10. I do think it is worth buying.
Worth buying

Review of “Fast & Furious” is done.

I wonder if those cars go on… (Vin) Diesel *Smug Face*


Movie Review: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

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Hello and welcome back to my month of “The Fast and the Furious”! You know, the thing I started the other day where I try to get through all the “Fast & Furious” movies before the end of may. So let’s not stand still any longer, let’s dive into the sequel to that 2001 racing movie.

Ladies and gents… “2 Fast 2 Furious”.

Hey look, stupid racing! *Donk* Ouch! Okay, okay, I’ll do it properly! Since I have to talk about the plot I better get it out of the way. So in this movie we see the return of Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker, R.I.P). In this movie he gets teamed up with childhood friend Roman Pierce (Tyrese Gibson) by the FBI to take down a Miami drug exporter in exchange of getting their criminal records cleared. So they tried to add more layers to a plot about silly action movies about fast cars and hot chicks. Oh well. The plot, while not bad, was really fucking stupid. They didn’t need the extra layer and I feel like it brought down the movie as you were reminded sometimes that there was a plot to begin with. They thought they made a great plot when really they didn’t.

What this movie lacks in plot it makes up for in characters. They are all colorful, not very well-acted, but colorful. But hey, at least Paul Walker got slightly better at acting since the first movie. Tyrese Gibson, while not a great actor, was enjoyable in the movie. And the guy who played the villain Carter Verone (Cole Hauser), he was almost cartoonish in how he portrayed him. But by far, best character in the movie has to be Tej (Ludacris), he was fucking awesome. I don’t know, I just enjoyed him.

The soundtrack for the movie is pretty similar to the one from the first movie with the only major difference being that there are no Limp Bizkit styled songs. Only hip-hop/rap this time. And this time I feel like the choice of songs was slightly better than the previous movie. Last time I feel like they just grabbed a couple of songs and threw in there. In this movie however I feel like they actually gave some thought to which songs to use and when to use them. So I am glad they learned how to do it… at least do it better.

The action scenes in this movie are just as fun in this movie if not even more fun. I don’t really know why I like them more, I just do. Somehow they just feel faster and more fun. Also, did anyone else notice that a large chunk of the lines in this movie felt like they could be lyrics to a rap song? Because to be it felt like that… weird.

This movie as not very well-received among critics and a fair amount of people. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a 36% positive rating. On Metacritic it has a score of 38/100. Roger Ebert knew the movie was just stupid fun and gave it 3/4 stars. And on it has a score of 5,8/10.

“2 Fast 2 Furious” is 2 stupid 2 hate (Sorry about that). The addition of a slightly thicker plot brings it down while still having enjoyable action scenes, colorful characters and a slightly better performance from Paul Walker. Time for my final score. Wow, you got here fast, Jeff. You said you are… 2 Fast 2 Furious? Just give me the fucking envelope! Now go away! My final score for “2 Fast 2 Furious” is a 7,44/10. I think it’s worth renting.
Rent it

Review of “2 Fast 2 Furious” is done.

Such a stupid title…

Movie Review: The Fast and the Furious (2001)

The Fast and the Furious

With this franchise being as big as it is at the moment I sit down and ask “How in the hell did this franchise get this big?”. I mean for the love of god, there are seven fucking movies in this franchise. So with all of that said, since the seventh one in the franchise was released recently (Sidenote: I had also not seen any of these movies) I decided to try to get through all of the previous movies in the franchise before the end of May.

Guys and chicks… “The Fast and the Furious”.

The story is about Los Angeles police officer Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker, R.I.P) who gets tasked with infiltrating a gang of street racers led by Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and try to find out if he is actually the one who has robbed several truck loads of DVD’s and such. Problem for Brian is that his loyalties become less and less clear. And that’s it. The plot is not original or smart, it is actually kind of stupid… which is why I like it. This plot is silly and stupid and that’s what makes it so fun and enjoyable. It is just pure fun to see what the hell they do next with this street racing movie. To be fair, I never expected much from the plot anyways, so I could never be disappointed. But it was at least a fun plot.

The characters in this movie, while not having many layers are like the plot; fun and enjoyable. Also, if you expected anything close to Oscar-worthy performances, you have really low standards. The performances are servicable at best. Vin Diesel is fine as Toretto because he is Vin Freaking Diesel. And Paul Walker (No disrespect intended) is not good… at all. Fine, I have seen much worse performances, but his was still slightly below average. I guess what I liked about the guy is that he is just so charismatic which kind of makes up for the sub-par performance. All other performances were fine, nothing else to say.

The music in the movie, while fitting, is not really that good. Sure, this is where my musical preferences kick in a little bit, but I think a lot of people can agree the music isn’t that fantastic. How do I explain it perfectly? It’s like if you take some generic instrumental tracks from some random movie, take some random hip-hop/rap songs and throw in some Limp Bizkit… that is probably how I would best describe the music in the movie. Instrumental, hip-hop/rap, Limp Bizkit. And like I said, the music fit just fine in the movie, nothing more to say about that.

This movie is directed by Rob Cohen… I am not a fan of Rob Cohen. Sure, I enjoyed “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” to a certain extent, but beyond that I am not a fan (Sidenote: This is the same guy who did “Alex Cross”, a terrible movie). Fortunately for us, this is one of his more well-directed movies. The direction is pretty slick, especially in the car/racing scenes. They all look great and they are fun as hell to watch.

This movie was decntly received by people around the world. On Rotten Tomatoes the movie has a 53% positive rating. On Metacritic the movie has a score of 58/100. Roger Ebert gave the movie 3/4 stars. And on the movie has a score of 6,6/10.

Despite being directed by Rob Cohen, I had a good time with this movie. The story was stupid and fun, the characters enjoyable, the music okay, the car scenes fast (and furious) and fun. Time for my final score. *Vroom vroom* My final score for “The Fast and the Furious” is an 8,61/10. I’d say that it’s actually worth buying.
Worth buying

“The Fast and the Furious” is now reviewed.

*Vroom Vroom*